A frustrated woman has revealed that her husband spends an hour in the toilet every morning before work and comes home late every night.
Taking to British parenting platform Mumsnet, the frustrated wife explained that her partner spends so much time in the bathroom ‘watching videos’ that he is often late for work, meaning he has to stay later.
The mother-of-two said her spouse doesn’t arrive home until 8pm most evenings and therefore doesn’t help with their toddler and baby’s bedtime routine.
After asking others for advice, many rushed to the comments to suspect that her husband might be having an affair.
The post read: ‘Every morning my DH sets an alarm for 6am as he has an hour commute to work.
A frustrated woman has revealed that her husband spends an hour in the toilet every morning before work (stock image)
‘He often gets up then but will spend up to an hour on the toilet. I’m pretty sure he’s watching videos or reading nonsense in there.
‘Then he will start getting ready etc meaning he doesn’t get into work until late, this means he works late and never gets home before 8pm.
‘We have a baby and a toddler and he’s never back for bedtime and also never helps in the morning as he’s on the toilet!
‘AIBU to tell him a few home truths? He’s always complaining he is late for work and “doesn’t know where the morning goes”.’
Some questioned if the man was having an affair considering he is late home every evening and taking his phone into the toilet with him.
One person said: ‘Set him an alarm for the toilet. If it doesn’t improve I’d consider if he may need to see a doctor or he might be having an affair.’
Another added: ‘Unfortunately I cannot see any other reason for spending an excessive amount of time in the bathroom and I don’t believe it’s just a case of ‘what men do’ other than they’re either secretly hiding something or avoiding something/ someone.
‘I’ve never come across a man who spends lengthy periods of time in the bathroom to the point they’re late for work every day. The only time I’ve heard of this happening is on threads on MN where the OH is spending long periods of time in the bathroom texting another woman.
‘Definitely not saying this is the case for the op but it does sound like he’s avoiding any sort of morning routine with his baby and toddler and making himself so late for work that he has to stay behind and conveniently miss their bath and bedtime routine.’
Taking to British parenting platform Mumsnet , the frustrated wife explained that her husband spends so much time in the loo ‘watching videos’ that he is often late for work, meaning he has to stay later
Meanwhile, others believed that her husband was doing it on purpose so he could avoid any childcare responsibilities.
One person said: ‘He’s doing this on purpose because he believes that you should be doing everything. He had children but doesn’t want any of responsibility and is prepared to see you run yourself into the ground. Definitely talk to him. This is not on.’
Another said: ‘Is this a bloke thing? I can’t imagine any woman I know spending an hour in the toilet unless they were very poorly. Is he not just in there hiding from his own children so he doesn’t have to parent them. Cheeky so and so.’
Someone else wrote: ‘He spends an hour on the toilet watching videos? Who the f*** wants to spend an hour on the toilet!
‘He knows what he’s doing op. Let me guess – this ‘toilet habit’ has only developed since having kids? He’s doing it on purpose op so that he doesn’t have to have any responsibility in looking after the little ones!’
The woman responded to people’s comments saying she doesn’t think her husband is having an affair but is probably dodging his responsibilities.
Some people believed that her husband was doing it on purpose so he could avoid any childcare responsibilities. Meanwhile, others suggested practical solutions which may solve the issue
She said: ‘He’s not having an affair – I’m sure he’s watching videos of cycling and dogs, I can hear them! We have multiple toilets so that’s not an issue. It’s the time taken away from other things.
‘If he was more inclined to he could be out of the door by 7, at work by 8 and ok to leave around 4.30 – 5, home by 6 for bedtime. I’ve pointed this all out and he said it’s his free time and I’m at home all day.
‘Anything I say regarding the amount of time he spends at work gets pushed back on me as I’m not at work atm. I feel like he does have a point in that respect but I never get a minute to myself to go to the toilet or do anything else like exercise etc.’
One person added: ‘Flippant remarks aside, your DH has literally told you he’d rather sit in the toilet for hours than help you or spend time with you and the kids.’
Meanwhile others suggested practical solutions which may solve the issue altogether.
One person said: ‘You could remove the lock and send the kids in to Daddy and/ or remove his phone so he can’t play with it.
‘Failing that, open the door and ask him what he’s doing? If you’re standing in front of him he’s not going to be able to deny it.
‘Then whisk it out of his hand. You could also change the alarm so he has to get off the throne PDQ. Or just be prepared to have a major Barney. Why should his definition of reasonable behaviour yours?
‘Instead of justifying yourself to him, let him justify himself to you. Joke about his childish behaviour at family gatherings. Ask advice from his mum. It’s the truth isn’t it?’
Another said: ‘I would be saying “so you don’t want to parent? Cool. Ok we need to start plans for separating then and sorting if you want contact with the children”
The woman responded to people’s comments saying she doesn’t think her husband is having an affair but is probably dodging his responsibilities
‘That might sound a bit harsh but I mean come on, you don’t get to opt out of parenting. Does he actually want his children to like him and spend time with them etc etc?
‘If not you may as well get it sorted now. He might be horrified and shape up but….’
Someone else wrote: ‘The only thing I can think of is you get up at the same time as him and take yourself off to the gym or for a run while he is still home.
‘Be very clear about it both verbally and by text after you have your shoes on but before sprinting to the door.
‘Unless he is someone who cannot be trusted to take care of your kids (and your decision on this should inform your follow up) he will have to have daddy time with them till you get home. Make sure to be home in time for him to get to work by the time he usually does.
‘Not saying it’s an easy choice, but logically it moves the issue forward. Anything he says about not being able to get ready whilst caring for his kids is something you can use when he suggests that you can.I hope you find a route through.’
