White wine almost killed me in my 30s: I only drank on weekends but that was enough to cause irreversible damage. Now I live with the awful consequences
A cardiac arrest, four blood transfusions, and stomach ulcers so deadly she was expelling black liquid blood into the toilet – this is how years of binge drinking came back to haunt Kirsten McKenzie as she lay in hospital just weeks ago.
Kirsten, an aged care worker in her mid-thirties, was told by doctors that if she hadn’t gone to the emergency ward when she did, she would have died the next day.
So bad were her ruptured ulcer symptoms, she had a cardiac arrest in the back of the ambulance, and within 20 minutes of arriving at Sydney’s Prince of Wales hospital last month she underwent a life-saving blood transfusion.
‘I thought I was going to die,’ Kirsten tells me. ‘I was absolutely terrified.’
After five days of treatment – more blood transfusions and medication to settle her ulcers – Kirsten was discharged.
I’d like to say Kirsten went back to a normal life, but ‘normal’ wouldn’t be the right word.
Despite the fact Kirsten, who lives in the eastern suburbs of Sydney, has been sober for almost a year, the damage done to her body after years of weekend drinking is irreversible.
To put it quite simply – if Kirsten drinks again, she will die. And even if she never touches alcohol again, she still faces a lifetime of health complications.
Kirsten, in her mid-thirties, was told by doctors that if she hadn’t gone to the emergency ward when she did, she would have died the next day (she is pictured during a recent hospital visit)
‘I used to love going to restaurants but now I have to eat like an old person in a nursing home because of my ulcers, ‘ Kristen says
Now can only eat bland food, such as this hospital meal, so as not to irritate her ulcers
Kirsten’s ulcers were caused by excessive drinking. What started off as the occasional glass of wine with friends in her twenties turned into weekend binges of two, three, four and more bottles of Oyster Bay Sauvignon Blanc in her thirties.
The booze had been slowly killing her and now, even after getting sober, her body is paying the ultimate price.
She can never eat spicy food again – even salt and pepper could be deadly – and she can never drink coffee or tea. Her diet today has to be bland and tasteless so as not to irritate her ulcers.
‘I used to love going to restaurants but now I have to eat like an old person in a nursing home because of my ulcers,’ she says. ‘And if I drink again, I will die. That’s a fact.’
It’s a far cry from her old life, where she called herself the ‘ultimate It girl’.
With her long, cascading, sun-kissed hair, model figure and glamorous job as a make-up artist at the time, Kirsten turned heads wherever she went.
From the second she logged off on Friday afternoon until late on Sunday night, Kirsten would spend her weekend doing what many young women like to do: party.
‘As soon as Friday kicked off, I’d be down the local bar for happy hour,’ she tells me.
‘Once I started, I couldn’t stop. I’d drink bottles and bottles of wine and think I was having fun. I wanted to keep drinking at 6am when all my friends wanted to go home. I thought I was the ultimate It girl.’
Despite the fact Kirsten has been sober for almost a year, the damage done to her body after years of weekend drinking is irreversible
But Kirsten’s binge drinking was slowly killing her, and she didn’t know how to stop.
‘I thought I could regulate my drinking,’ she says. ‘I was highly motivated during the week, I was doing my master’s in social work, I was going to the gym most days and training for marathons. I even had two whiteboards where I wrote my list of things to do for the week. But come the weekend, I was downing bottles of wine.’
In 2020, Kirsten underwent a liver-function test and doctors were staggered by the results: the petite 32 year-old had a liver of a 65 year-old alcoholic man.
‘Doctors told me if I carried on drinking, I’d be dead within three months. I was too scared to tell anyone.’
Kirsten tried to cut back on her drinking. She could usually last a few months before falling off the wagon. Friends begged her to go to rehab or hospital, but she refused.
‘I was completely dead inside. I was too scared to get help because I was worried people at work would think I was incompetent. Friends would hide their fancy wines when I came over. I went from being the party girl to shaking and vomiting if I was drinking. I was out of control. I didn’t want the other It girls would see me like this.’
Kirsten had what she calls several ‘rock bottoms’. There was a family reunion where she was left sobbing and alone in the garden. Another time she found herself lying on her floor, crying amongst empty bottles of booze, drinking a bottle of vodka alone.
Once admired for her looks, Kirsten couldn’t even bear to look at herself in the mirror.
With her long, cascading, sun-kissed hair, model figure and glamorous job, Kirsten turned heads wherever she went – until binge drinking took its toll on her health and her looks
Shannon Webb, Clinical Psychologist at The Banyans Healthcare in Queensland warns that young women develop alcohol related diseases quicker than men
‘I knew I had to get help; everyone was worried about me. I had dead eyes, a swollen face, couldn’t get up to do my hair I used to be so proud of. I went from partying to complete isolation.’
Finally, in January last year, Kirsten discovered 12-step recovery meetings. The 12 steps are a set of principles originally developed by Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and since adopted by many self-help groups that help individuals overcome addiction and maintain sobriety. Cornerstones of the 12 steps include acknowledging you are powerless over alcohol, making amends for past wrongs, and helping others get sober.
While it has been a bumpy road, Kirsten has a year of sobriety under her belt. She will have alcohol-related health issues for the rest of her life, but at least she is no longer in the hell of active addiction.
She is now applying for a scholarship to study law and attends regular meetings at Gorman House, an addiction treatment centre, part of St Vincent’s Hospital in Sydney.
‘I wish I could go back in time; my regrets sleep with me every night. I’ve learned how to surrender, and I know the only way forward is total abstinence for me. There is no middle ground,’ she says.
‘Do I want a life of death, doom and destruction, or to be free from the clutches of alcohol? I choose life.’
Shannon Webb, clinical psychologist at The Banyans Healthcare in Queensland, warns that young women develop alcohol-related diseases quicker than men.
‘There are several reasons why women react differently to alcohol, including their lower body fat, lower levels of metabolic enzymes and hormonal fluctuations that affect how the body breaks down alcohol,’ says Shannon.
While your weekend ‘party’ drinking, particularly leading up to the festive period, may seem like a great way to break the ice at social events, wind down or celebrate, it can soon destroy your life, Shannon tells me.
‘We commonly see guests at the Banyans whose alcohol dependency stemmed from small habits that escalated into full-scale dependency. Next time you think about having a drink, ask yourself if it is really the choice you want to make.’
Sober coach Kathryn Elliott says problematic drinking can creep up on young women without them knowing
Kathryn Elliott, founder of www.thealcoholmindsetcoach.com, is a sober coach from Melbourne who specialises in binge drinking, particularly with young women who want to break free from their weekend boozing habits.
‘Problematic drinking can creep up on young women without them knowing. I was a binge drinker party girl in my twenties and I thought I’d grow out of it. But at 46, I was still falling over and hitting my head and blacking out. So my warning to young women is you don’t necessarily grow out of it.’
Kathryn’s advice for worried drinkers is to reset and have a break from alcohol and learn to go out sober.
‘If you isolate at home because you don’t want to drink, you will cut yourself off from people. You can still engage, you can still go out, you will just learn to do it without alcohol.’
