We were too fat for sex and my weight nearly killed me – here’s how we reignited the spark WITHOUT Ozempic

Driving to hospital, Jojo Rogers had tears streaming down her face. In the back of her car was her 11-year-old son, Nathan. She was desperately trying to pretend everything was OK – but it was far from it.

‘I was completely paralysed down one side of my body, and terrified I was dying,’ she said. ‘I was only 36 years old, I was morbidly obese, and suddenly I thought I was going to leave Nathan an orphan.’

At Southampton General Hospital, her worst fears were confirmed. She was told she’d suffered a TIA, a mini-stroke caused by a temporary blockage in a cerebral artery that briefly deprives a part of the brain of oxygen. Hospital staff told her she would need a stent put into her skull to drain the potentially fatal build-up of fluid that doctors said was caused by her weight.

Jojo, now 49, was diagnosed with intracranial hypertension after her doctor initially brushed her to one side, saying her crushing headaches were simply migraines. When her eyesight deteriorated rapidly (as increased pressure on the brain can lead to a swelling of the optic nerve), she was forced to go to an optician. Only then did she find out the real cause of her symptoms.

‘At hospital, doctors told me I had the worst case of intracranial hypertension they’d ever seen, and I was lucky not to have completely lost my eyesight and died,’ she said.

‘The mad thing was I was bluntly told my weight was literally killing me, even the receptionists told me I was to blame, but I still didn’t do anything about it – I just felt trapped in this huge body, wracked with guilt and not knowing how to change.’

At the time she weighed more than 16st. It had been only two years since she married Shaun, an engineer she met through online dating. Having fled a troubled relationship with Nathan’s father when she was in her early 20s, it took Jojo several years to summon up the courage to look for a new man.

She said: ‘My confidence was rock bottom, and I basically comfort ate myself into a hole.

‘I’d feed Nathan healthy, nutritious food, but I’d always finish off his leftovers and then order myself a takeaway. I just felt so alone, and the worse I felt, the more I ate.’

Jojo went online to find a date and met a number of men who, once they saw her in the flesh, ‘ran a mile’.

‘We always got along great chatting online, but the moment they saw me I could see their faces drop,’ she said. ‘One guy even told me he couldn’t date me because he didn’t like my body!’

Jojo decided to look for ‘chunkier’ men towards the end of 2007, and met Shaun. They quickly hit it off and by January 2018 the pair had moved in together. On February 29, just five months after they met, Jojo proposed to Shaun on the radio.

She contacted her local station, Power FM, and put in the request. Thrilled when it gave her the go-ahead, she told the unsuspecting Shaun to listen and asked him to marry her live on air. He, of course, said yes.

‘The problem was that life was just too good,’ she said. ‘Shaun was a great cook and our favourite night was on the sofa with a takeaway and a film. We both slowly expanded, but I told myself it didn’t matter because we were happy.’

The couple finally tied the knot in August 2009 – after both losing lost about 3st for their big day. But Jojo admits that once real life resumed, they went back to their bad habits. Very quickly, all that weight came back on, with interest.

‘We went on our honeymoon to the Maldives, and both declared triumphantly that we’d had it with dieting, filling up on the all-you-can-eat buffets,’ Jojo said. ‘I just didn’t see this causing any health problems, and because we were both big, it didn’t seem to matter.’

But, looking back, Jojo says it was ‘obvious we weren’t as happy as we made out’.

‘When you’re both big, you fool yourself into thinking it’s nice just cuddling on the sofa and eating greasy takeaways, but that spark and energy you had when you met is gone.

‘We were both so big we couldn’t put our arms around each other, so our love life was predictably severely lacking. Add in that we’d burdened ourselves with over £20,000 of debt on credit cards after our fancy wedding and honeymoon, combined with loads of expensive takeaways, and it’s no surprise that we broke up briefly.

‘If I wasn’t happy in myself, how could someone else love me? But Shaun came back, and we carried on trying.’

Having been a steady 9st 10lbs in her teens, Jojo’s weight was now out of control – even after that mini-stroke and repeated warnings from doctors.

‘I was a size 26, and so big I once couldn’t turn around in the shower when we visited my parents – it was horrific, and there was no way I could pretend this was OK any more,’ she said.

Finally, having tried and failed a range of diets, Jojo was told at a 2018 hospital appointment that she was being put forward for a gastric band. The procedure involves an adjustable silicone ring being placed around the upper part of the stomach. This makes it smaller and limits the amount the person can eat. 

‘I was genuinely excited that I could finally escape this prison, that this would be the answer,’ Jojo said.

The following year she had the operation, paid for by the NHS but done at a private clinic.

Jojo lost around 2st. But then the clinic lost its NHS contract and Jojo’s ongoing support vanished with it. So the weight came back on.

‘I realised there can be no magic bullet, you have to do things the hard way,’ she said.

‘Approaching my 50th birthday, and with an almost non-existent sex life and no possible benefits from my weight, last year I decided to try the 1:1 Diet by Cambridge Weight Plan [CWP], the same one we’d used before our wedding. I told Shaun he could join me if he wanted, and straight away he said he would.’

The couple started the £62-a-week meal replacement diet on May 31 last year. Jojo swapped junk food and takeaways for four nutritious, balanced meal packs, each containing just 200 calories. Shaun had three meal replacement packs along with a 200-calorie meal.

‘I have to admit I found it really easy, and as soon as the weight started coming off, it felt like a new dawn,’ Jojo said.

Once an avid badminton player, Shaun had had to give up the sport because of knee pain  caused by his weight. But that summer he picked up his racket again – joined by Jojo. By that November, Shaun had lost 3st, and by Christmas Jojo had lost six.

Now 7.5st lighter, Jojo says she feels ‘reborn’.

‘Shaun and I are a formidable badminton pair, and we’ve even started line-dancing together now – so many people don’t recognise me at all, and I barely recognise myself.

‘We’re both slimmer than when we first met, and I have to say it’s completely reignited our marriage.

‘We genuinely fancy each other now, we can put our arms around each other, and we can’t our hands off each other. Our sex life has improved immeasurably, it’s like we’re having a second chance at our relationship, and I couldn’t be happier.’

DIET BEFORE

Breakfast: Cereal and toast

Mid-morning: Cake

Lunch: Pie and chips, then jam roly-poly pudding and custard

Afternoon: Crisps and chocolate from the work vending machine

Before dinner: Large bag of crisps while choosing our takeaway

Dinner: Indian or Chinese takeaway, with extra sides and two mains each

DIET NOW

Breakfast: One Weetabix with blueberries and black coffee

Lunch: CWP soup

Evening: Steamed fish with veg, or CWP salt and pepper chicken

Cup of tea