Does anyone else remember the lady who claimed she could predict the future by tossing a bunch of asparagus into the air and deciphering the shapes it lands in? Just me? Well, due to the holiday period, I’m the captain of this god-forsaken ship today so please join me in a walk down memory lane as we investigate whether the self-proclaimed “asaparamancer” predicted the future using the vegetable that makes your piss smell.
In case you need a refresher, Jemima Packington is a woman from Somerset in the UK who refers to herself as the world’s only asparamancer. She claims that she can predict future events by tossing a bunch of asparagus onto a flat surface and analysing how they land. Due to her unique abilities, Jemima has been featured on television and radio programmes worldwide.
In previous years, Jemima claimed to have predicted Brexit, the Queen’s death, COVID-19 and the royal squabble involving Prince Harry and Megan Markle. Incredibly impressive from a vegetable best served with butter.
Before you accuse me of taking the piss out of Jemima, I’d like it known that Ms Packington has a good sense of humour and completely understands how bonkers the whole thing is. In fact, she’s pretty cool with the discourse around her profession as long as it brings a smile to people’s faces.
“I take what do seriously, but I don’t take myself seriously,” she says.
What did the asparamancer predict for 2024?
In January 2024, I wrote an article listing Jemima’s predictions for the year. Just days away from the beginning 2025, let’s see which predictions came true.
A female US president ❌
In January, Jemima claimed that the US would see a female become president in the 2024 election. At the time, Joe Biden was still planning to lead the Democrats to another term in the white house. The prediction looked promising for a while there though, after Kamala Harris became the 2025 Democratic candidate.
Sadly, this was not meant to be, with former President and convicted felon Donald Trump taking the job instead.
Big regime changes throughout the world on a huge scale ✅
In early December, Syrian dictator and president Bashar al-Assad fled his own country after rebels overthrew the government. This resulted in the end of his family’s horrific 54-year regime. The fall of the Assad government saw celebrations by Syrians all over the world rejoicing in a day they never thought they’d see.
Now, the transition of power is underway as Syria enters a new era, with the overflow effects bound to be felt throughout the region and by extension, the world.
Say what you will, but I think Jemima gets a point on this one.
Members of the royal family will get divorced ❌
Currently, there are no official reports of any members of the British royal family getting a divorce. However, there have been quite a few rumours swirling about royal relationships this year — especially Meghan Markle and Prince Harry.
On December 4, Prince Harry confronted those rumours head-on by answering a question at The New York Times’ 2024 DealBook Summit in which a punter asked him how he dealt with intense speculation about his relationship.
“Apparently we’ve bought or moved house 10, 12 times. We’ve apparently divorced maybe 10, 12 times as well. So it’s just like, what?’” the royal laughed.
So, I guess that’s a no for this prediction.
People will become sick of celebrity antics and culture ✅
I think we can all agree that this is a loosey-goosey prediction. On one hand, people have been sick of celebrity antics and culture for a long, long time. As the cost of living crisis and climate change continue to make life trickier for the average person, it can be increasingly rough to watch celebrities flaunt their lavish lifestyles and fly around on private jets.
However, I do think one social media trend does fit the bill for Jemima’s prediction — #Blockout 2024.
Back in May, the annual Met Gala elicited a different response from the masses than usual. Instead of being enamoured by the extravaganza of it all, punters were incensed by the over-the-top hullabaloo. Instead of celebrities using their platforms to bring awareness to things that mattered, they were flouncing around in expensive ballgowns and making TikTok videos to audio which said “Let them eat cake”.
In response, social media users unfollowed and/or blocked creators and businesses en masse for not using their platforms for good and generally being out of touch with societal issues of wealth and inequality.
Public figures will be revealed to have profited from illegal activities ✅ but also ❌
I’ll be honest, only one public figure profiting from illegal activities comes to mind — Anna Delvey.
Anna Delvey is a con artist who posed as a wealthy heiress to live her best life amongst the upper-class elite in New York City between 2013 and 2017. In 2019, she was convicted in a New York State Court of grand larceny, larceny in the second degree, and theft of services, and was sentenced to four to 12 years in prison. She was released on parole after just two years.
In 2024, Delvey joined the cast of season 33 of the US version of Dancing With The Stars where she tore up the dancefloor in her very own bedazzled ankle monitor. Iconic behaviour, honestly.
According to Variety, contestants on Dancing With The Stars make up to $125,000 USD ($200,000 AUD) for their time on the show with the maximum contestants can earn being $295,000 ($474,000 AUD) if they make it to the end.
Delvey was kicked off the show after a few episodes but if the Variety reports are correct, she made a nifty penny doing so. Considering that Delvey is famous purely due to her illegal activities, I guess you could say Jemima was sort of right on this one.
Great Britain won’t do very well at the Olympics ❌
Great Britain may not have won the 2024 Olympic Games but they did pretty damn well. Coming in seventh place, team GB took home a total of 65 medals. This is one more medal that the 64 the team won in Tokyo in 2020.
That’s a win to me!!!!
A bunch of rich television personalities will lose their jobs ❌
Maybe the asparamancer was referring to the British television landscape but I can’t for the life of me find any news reports that multiple, wealthy television personalities have lost their jobs in Australia or the UK.
So, that’s a swing and a miss for Jemima on this prediction. Here’s a meme involving asparagus for good measure.
Influencers will lose their influence ❌
Welp, a huge miss on this prediction. Whether you love or hate content creators, there’s no doubt that their influence is still going strong today. In fact, influencer marketing seems to be leading the charge as brands steer away from traditional forms of advertising and utilise the ability of influencers to sway consumers.
Well, there you have it. I’ll be honest, I’m a bit surprised by the success rate. Long live the asparamancer! I hope she does more for 2025.
