In the age of internet dating, social media and readily available pornography, what’s the secret to finding love?
Is it reading up on your ‘love language’? Or learning to recognise red flags? Well, no. The only thing you need to know is your horoscope. The rest? That’s up to the stars.
Not too long ago, talking about astrology in the same sentence as your love life would have elicited eye rolls and sniggers. Now, questions about star sign compatibility are nearly as commonplace on first dates as those around your job and how many siblings you have. Chances are you’ll know your Hinge date’s rising sign before you know their last name.
For a prime example of how astrology has become a core tenet of modern love, just look at Aimee Lou Wood’s character in the latest season of The White Lotus.
Aimee Lou Wood and Walton Goggins in latest season of The White Lotus
Wood plays Chelsea, a young British hippie who is holidaying with her older boyfriend Rick, played by Walton Goggins. The couple couldn’t be less of a match, with Chelsea constantly pleading for Rick’s attention and Rick berating Chelsea simply for being around him.
At the root of their problems is – you guessed it – astrological compatibility. It’s something Chelsea points out one morning after Rick refuses to tell her about the conversation he had with the hotel owner.
‘Scorpio,’ she sighs. ‘So secretive. It’s not easy for me, Rick. I’m an Aries. I need everything out in the open.’
Now 30, my friends and I all subscribe to this theory religiously. Whenever one of us starts dating someone new, our first question isn’t his job, his height or his intentions – it’s his star sign.
It gives us a quick insight into who he is underneath it all and how suitable he might be. And our predictions are almost always right.
Whether or not you deem it ridiculous, in response to the demand almost every dating app now gives users the option to state their star sign on their profile – letting you avoid those you’re unlikely to align with, and saving you a lot of time in the long run.
On Bumble, those with premium subscriptions can go so far as to filter their matches according to their star sign.
Gemini Olivia won’t date anyone until she knows they are astrologically compatible
There are even separate apps dedicated to those looking to date according to their sign, like Karma, IIios and Stars Align. Indeed, I often kick myself for not looking into astrological compatibility sooner. My ex, you see, was a Scorpio, like Rick. That made him wildly incompatible with me – a Gemini – who, like Chelsea, doesn’t do well with secrecy.
It was only after we broke up I started researching our star signs, astonished at theaccuracy of everything I read and how aptly it applied to the both of us.
As a Gemini who is, true to form, adventurous, chatty, easily bored and consistently curious, I need to be with someone who can match those traits – or at least not feel jarred by them. Scorpios have a tendency to be emotionally intense and never get enough from the relationship, always needing reassurance – as I learned the hard way over the course of our four years together.
Taureans also find me too much (they tend to be very grounded).
You may scoff, particularly if you’re not wading your way through the murky dating waters. But trust me, it’s rough out there. None of us want to waste time dating people we’ll clash with down the line. So who can blame us for consulting the closest thing we can get to a crystal ball?
And while everyone is different, there are some generic astrological characteristics that, in my experience, have always proven true in terms of dating.
A free-spirited Leo is likely to clash with an organised Virgo, for example. And I know abrupt Aries who have butted heads with sensitive Cancers.
Moving forward, I’m looking to date an Aquarius (clever), a Libra (optimistic), or a Sagittarius (spontaneous). From my extensive research, I should be compatible with all of them.
There’s still a lingering sense of judgment whenever I talk about astrology and dating, particularly with men. Frankly, it doesn’t bother me. Nor does it make me inclined to take astrology any less seriously.
If anything, it encourages me. Because if women are the ones learning about astrology and applying it to our dating lives, it simply gives us the upper hand over men – something I believe is long overdue.
