Whether it’s the hysterically sexy sun-drenched advertisements or the heady wafts coming from across the bar, we stereotypically think of scent as a way to heighten attraction. There’s certainly no lack of videos, articles and subreddits dedicated to the best fragrances to seduce a partner, from the “panty-dropping” scents recommended by fragrance bros to pheromone perfumes and even vabbing. But what if you don’t want to attract anyone new?
Over the last year, videos chronicling perfumes that one might wear to repel male attention have gained growing traction on #PerfumeTok. Recurring themes include “old lady” perfumes, something that smells like a witchy coven, leathery animalics or straight up “sexy man smells”. Of course, what smells good and bad isn’t simply objective. One person’s perfume heaven may be another person’s hell, with a study confirming that our memories associated with the smells in question play the main role.
L’Air de Rien by Miller Harris is the perfect example of this. Capturing the nostalgic scent of old books in a musky ambery perfume, it evokes a fantasy of gloomy attics, pouring rain, slightly soggy cardboard boxes and mildew. According to a number of TikTok videos this scent is adept at repelling men, following the assumption that men can’t stand a woman who might want to read an old book in a window seat like Elizabeth Bennett. But if you’re someone who wants to attract a similarly mysterious, interior bookworm, this could be your key.
Interestingly, this was my signature scent a few years ago. When I got hold of Camryn, the face and nose of @cammyreviews, she too had just doused herself in the perfume. “Fragrances are generally extremely divisive, which is why it can be so hard to know who you might be appealing to or repelling when you wear them,” she tells me. Camryn’s in-depth reviews cover everything esoteric from warm hug fall fragrances to super sweet cookies scents, but she doesn’t shy away from the slightly less desirable. “Dirt by Demeter, Steamed Rainbow by DS&DURGA, Warm Bulb by Clue, the Dark Knight by Francesca Bianchi,” are her recommendations to repel. “They smell like dirt, hose water, dusty light bulbs, and vintage-style mossy leather, respectively.” Her knowledge of perfume makes me look like a total amateur, but Camryn labels her suggestions “relatively tame” for good reason. “Unfortunately these days there are tons of men who are obsessed with egregiously edgy niche perfumes, and I wouldn’t want to inadvertently attract one of them… No offence.”
Off-putting and specifically acquired tastes are one thing, but are there scents you could purchase that are completely repellent? Indie perfume brands have been veering into the territory of the eclectic (a word that covers all manner of sins) recently, but brands still want to make money, so finding genuinely horrible perfume is more difficult than you might think. On my journey to discover the most offensive scents you can buy over the counter, I took a trip to Bloom Perfumery in Covent Garden, London. A perfume apothecary with hundreds of glass bottles lining the walls, I asked them to do their worst and I wasn’t disappointed.
“The 4S: sweat, saliva, blood and sperm” – this is how Parisian perfumery Etat Libre d’Orange describes Secretions Magnifiques. It’s deeply unsettling, with a saline minerality intermingled with rather nauseating lactonic sweetness. Director Luna Carmoon, whose 2023 dramady-cum-bodyhorror Hoard features foetid piles of rubbish, rotting rats and burnt flesh, doused the set in the smell while filming to enforce the atmosphere of claustrophobic dankness. As one Fragrantica comment says, “If your sexy time smells like this, you need to see a doctor.”
If there is one perfume that I would immediately recommend to repel anyone and anything – aside from perhaps a complete psychopath or sadistic warlord – it would be Toskovat’s Inexcusable Evil. Previously labelled by me as the smell of death, this perfume isn’t just gross or disgusting. With notes of gunpowder, blood, bandages and iodine, it is absolutely bone chilling, which makes sense for a perfume crafted to bottle the violence of war. Zoologist’s Tyrannosaurus Rex similarly evokes a medicinal hospital scent, but with a bit more of an automobile touch. It could be an expired first-aid kit left festering in a damp, heavily burnt car crash wreck.
Leaning further into the niche notes, there are scents that provoke contradictory reactions that range across a whole spectrum of perversity. With notes of latex and sex toys smashed together with cherry, blackberry, pearls and burnt plastic, Born Screaming is another Toskovat concoction. Made as a tongue-in-cheek commentary on the heavily sexualised nature of the beauty industry, perfume maker David-Lev Jipa-Slivinschi describes it as the “sexiest, kinkiest cherry”. At first I found it repugnant but the scent’s near grossness became addictive, and I keep reaching for it when I’m getting ready for a night out. The shock factor makes it feel like something illicit is implied when I receive compliments. One friend, who was unaware I’d just spritzed some on my wrist, loudly commented that something smelled like a toilet (I afterwards realised the scent has a touch of a urinal cake about it). I felt like I was being kink-shamed. “Not for the faint of heart” seems to be the most accurate description I’ve heard.
There is an endless lexicon of quotidian “bad” smells, from rotting eggs to hot rubbish, decaying flesh to dog shit. At Bloom, I was unpleasantly introduced to a perfume that makes Secretions Magnifique seem somewhat mundane. Under a glass bell jar labelled “Caution! This perfume contains notes of vomit, rotten sweat, mould and pus”, I got a whiff of Sombre by Strangers Perfumerie. Inspired by and named after a 1998 French Extremity thriller about a women-murdering serial killer, this truly avant garde perfume resulted in my friend leaving the shop. And complaining about a vomit smell for the rest of the day. Truly, truly repulsive.
There will be some people, however, who want to warn off unwanted advances without making anyone within a sillage radius gag. So, for some safer options for smelling less appealing to straight men, reach for stereotypically “masculine” fragrances. An ardent lover of Abercrombie & Fitch Fierce, I remember in high school someone’s mum remarking, “Who is that great smelling boy?” Whenever I wear this gay men flock to me but straight men… Well, according to the TikTok experts, they don’t want to gravitate towards the smell of other men. Chanel No. 5 and any other “old lady” perfumes have also been labelled as “man repelling”. I too find most Chanel fragrances pretty off putting and very uninspiring, so smelling like a double page advertisement is also a great way to deter pretentious bisexuals like me.
