Movies are enjoyable even when they aren’t at all factually accurate. But over time, we’ve become conditioned to just accept completely batshit scenarios in film, even when they are laughable.
Like, I don’t even bat an eyelid when someone wakes up looking fresh as a bloody daisy, when meanwhile I wake up looking like a gremlin.
But even though we’re fully aware that film life does not equal real life, it’s still fucking funny to really think about how unrealistic stuff can be.
This Reddit thread which is going viral is a goldmine. Started just 12 hours ago by user OG_Builds, it’s amassed 25,000 comments and counting. There’s some real gold in there, too.
Some primo examples:
1. Bombs That Politely Count Down To Zero For You
Because every bomb expert wants someone who, say, miraculously finds said bomb to know exactly how much time they’ve got before they need to cut the wire.
Also, as someone in the thread mentioned, how they always cut the EXACT right wire ten seconds before the bomb is set to go off.
2. “No Time To Explain!”
As the original poster commented, it literally would take two seconds to explain in most circumstances, like “there’s a tornado coming!” or “the cops are here!” or “a murderous superhero is outside killing people, let’s go!”
Also if someone just said to me “no time to explain, run!” I’d be standing there like listen bitch, you sound a bit dramatic.
3. Scientists Know Anything, About Any Field Of Interest
You can be a specially trained astrophysicist, but you’d best believe when someone finds a strange comet on Earth, you are also an expert geologist, too.
4. You Can Actually Talk In Bars
Special note for any scene were someone has a very serious, whispered, secret conversation in a packed bar.
5. Fast-Acting Knockout Drugs
Here’s something I didn’t realise until now – chloroform, as in when someone puts a hankie over someone’s face and they pass out – doesn’t work that fast.
6. I’ll Take Any Alcohol, Thanks
Just give me whatever beer you have. Even if it tastes like warm piss.
7. Hacking Is Easy, Actually
All you have to do is type super fast for a few minutes, and you’ve ~hacked the mainframe~.
8. You Can Read Files In Five Seconds
Yes I have read this in-depth, 30 page report and now know exactly how to tackle this multi-layered case that goes straight to the top.
This article was originally published in July, 2020.
