Sex expert says women are ‘hungry’ for pleasure after menopause and looking for specific kind of lover

A large portion of the conversation regarding menopause makes it seem like a woman’s sexuality comes to a halt when they start menstruating.

It is marketed as an ‘ending’ for women, instead of what it actually is — a new beginning. 

However, DailyMail.com spoke with Pamela Madsen, a somatic sex educator and the founder of Back to the Body, a retreat focused on sexual wellness, who detailed to FEMAIL that there is uncharted territory when it comes to sex after menopause and that women are ‘ravenous’.

Pamela called menopause a ‘second adolescence’ for women in their 40s, 50s, and 60s.

‘When you’re an adolescent, your hormones change- your breasts begin to grow, and your body changes. Your body adjusts, but it’s a wonky time,’ Pamela explained.

‘The thing with menopause, and perimenopause, is our bodies change, and it may not be comfortable in the beginning, some women can have hot flashes and other kinds of symptoms that are annoying, but they pass for most women, it’s a transitional stage.

‘It doesn’t last forever, and we’re getting smarter now about menopause, and we’re getting more educated, and most women in menopause do really well with estrogen and testosterone – with your hormones that they’re losing during menopause – and when we get estrogen replaced, of which we naturally lose, it’s like getting an incredible boost to shock.’

She added: ‘If you give her an estrogen testosterone cream, she’s right back in the game. Pretty simple.

‘People should consult their doctors, but in my experience of working with so many mid-life women, they don’t even need a lot of hormone replacement. They just need a little help.’

Pamela broke down her Back to the Body retreats that allow women to get in touch with their sexual selves.

She said many women join her program who have had inadequate lovers or lovers who have never cared about their sexual needs.

‘They come in starving. So before we can get anywhere in helping them cultivate their erotic energy, we go through, literally, a period of feeding because they’re so hungry,’ she explained.

‘The work, initially, with a menopausal woman, is getting her out of erotic poverty and getting her to a place where she’s not starving anymore. 

‘And then once we get her there, then we can support women to go even deeper into what is possible for themselves, erotically, like, “What turns you on? What do you want?”

‘I have women say to me, no one has ever asked me that question before. What do I want? A lot of the work with women is about helping them find their desire, taking them out of starvation, and letting them know that this is important for their overall health.’

Pamela further explained that despite what the mainstream might tell you – women have ‘ever-growing eroticism’ even after menopause.  

‘So menopause as the tombstone of women’s erotic lives is a fallacy,’ she detailed.

‘That’s why you’re reading a lot now, as social norms have expanded, that older women are dating younger men.

‘And why are they dating younger men? Because their sexual capacity after menopause grows and older men sometimes can’t keep up with us. 

‘So the perfect erotic match often can be the older woman and the younger man. He has the capacity to keep up with her ever-growing eroticism. 

She continued: ‘Now, I’m not saying that we should just all be with older men. I’m saying that the phenomenon of older women with younger men makes erotic sense.’

The sex expert then broke down another reason why younger men are more enticing.     

‘Women in menopause are not necessarily looking for the rich man, as Cher said to her mother, “Mom, I am the rich man.’’ 

‘Something about that made me change the sense of where “I am financially independent. I’m not looking for that.” 

‘The menopausal woman is looking for a man who’s a companion. She’s looking for a man who can meet her erotically. 

‘She’s often looking for a man who wants to travel and do things with her. She’s not looking for someone to support her and make babies. She’s interested in sexual freedom. She’s interested in exploration. She’s interested in using up all that incredible erotic energy that’s in her body before she takes it in her box. 

‘And what’s true is that women’s 40s, 50s, 60s, and 70s are looking pretty hot, and they’re feeling pretty hot.’