My pleasure-pulsing tip to keep the attraction alive long distance… it had me roaring Sweet Home Alabama, writes sexologist JESSICA TOSCANO
‘I have a surprise for you,’ I texted the guy I’d met in a bar five months ago.
Moments later, my phone buzzed in my back pocket.
‘And what would that be?’ he asked.
I sipped my Yuengling. I was in a club in the middle of a night out with the girls – and I confessed to him that I’d brought along something very naughty… an intimate toy he could control remotely from an app on his phone.
Full disclosure: I’ve been having an LDR (long-distance relationship) with this guy for a few months, after I met him on a solo trip to Austin.
What started as light-hearted conversation turned into three days of fun as he became my personal tour guide around the town he had lived in during college before he moved to Seattle.
Fast forward five months, and it’s amazing what can transpire when two people are willing to hop on a plane every few weeks to see each other.
Not a day has gone by where we haven’t spoken. We regularly have steamy video calls to keep the intimacy as lively as we can.
‘I have a surprise for you,’ I texted the guy I’d met in a bar five months ago. Moments later, my phone buzzed in my back pocket. ‘And what would that be?’ he asked.
But now we haven’t seen each other in two months – after he canceled his flight to New York the week of Valentine’s Day because he felt sick.
I understood… but my sex drive did not.
Desperate to keep our fiery attraction alive, my creativity as a certified sexologist took a new turn.
Which brings me to that night out with my girlfriends – and the secret surprise I’d brought along with me.
There’s something far more charged about letting your partner bring you pleasure in a public setting, where maintaining your composure is required.
He didn’t waste any time sending a request via the app to take control of the toy – and I accepted at once.
‘Is it working?’ he asked. Giggles erupted from my lips.
‘Yes,’ I frantically texted back. ‘Are you trying to kill me?!’
He replied: ‘More snarky comments like that, and it’ll get worse.’
Over the course of the next hour, pulses of pleasure were mingled with the pain of longing as he controlled my senses.
I finally asked him if it was ever going to come to an end… preferably a pleasant one.
‘If you’re a good girl,’ he assured me. My face went bright red.
I noticed my girl friends stealing glances at me. They wanted to dance.
I was in a club in the middle of a night out with the girls – and I confessed to him that I’d brought along something very naughty… an intimate toy he could control remotely from an app on his phone. (Stock image).
So we gathered in a loose circle, swaying to the DJ’s late 90s and early 00s hits. And as the speakers roared, ‘Sweet Home Alabama’, I couldn’t help but sing my own melody as my boyfriend brought me to a glorious conclusion.
It was a powerful lesson for me and for anyone – that an LDR really can work, if only you get creative.
But while this had been a fun and adventurous Friday night, I knew that we couldn’t endure our physical separation much longer.
I imagined what the aftermath of sex would be like had we just done it in person. Would I be running my fingers through his hair? Would we be cuddling as we drifted to sleep? Or would there be enough intensity to last us through round two?
As soon as I got home, I booked a trip to Seattle to mark an end to our excruciating two months apart, knowing damn well what was in store for us the moment I’d land.
