My husband pressured me into having a baby I didn’t want – I’ve lost my career and I resent him for it

A mother has revealed she feels ‘trapped’ after being ‘pressured’ by her husband into having a baby she didn’t want. 

The 31-year-old woman, from the U.S., took to Reddit to vent about her dilemma, in which she admitted she had become resentful of her husband for ‘pushing’ her into becoming a parent – despite a mutual decision they had made to remain child-free. 

Posting anonymously on a throwaway account, the woman detailed her frustration in the popular subbreddit, R/AmITheA*****e, on 9 January. 

In the post, the mother explained that she and her 33-year-old husband have been married for six years.

Prior to being wed, the woman explained she and her husband had made a ‘clear agreement’ to not have children, as she ‘never wanted to be a parent’ and initially thought he felt the same way. 

However, she claimed her husband began ‘changing his mind’ four years into their marriage, which began with ‘little comments’ of “Wouldn’t it be fun to have a little one running around?”

She continued: ‘Then it turned into serious conversations where he said he couldn’t imagine his life without being a dad. 

‘I told him I still didn’t want kids, but he kept saying, “You’d be such a great mom!” or “You might feel differently once it’s your own.”’

Eventually, the woman revealed she ‘gave in’ as she ‘didn’t want to lose her marriage’ over their differing views on having children. 

The woman, who is now the mother of a seven-month-old baby, admitted that while she loves her child, she ‘can’t shake the feeling’ that she feels ‘trapped,’ as her career has since taken a backseat and she feels ‘constantly exhausted.’

She added: ‘My husband, on the other hand, is thriving. He loves being a dad but works long hours, leaving most of the parenting to me.’ 

‘Recently, I told him I’m struggling and feel like I was pressured into this. He got upset and said I was being unfair because I “agreed” to have the baby. He thinks I just need to adjust and stop dwelling on what I wanted before.’ 

The woman concluded by asking fellow Redditors for clarity on whether she should ‘feel guilty’ about becoming resentful of her husband for pressuring her into making a decision she was ‘clear about not wanting.’

The post has since amassed 1.3K comments, as a large number of Redditors empathised with the mother while others chillingly warned her: ‘Resentment will eat you alive.’  

One person wrote: ‘If the guy really wants kids when the woman doesn’t and she eventually agrees, that agreement should be on conditions that A. Her career if she has one will not be affected B. He’s going to take 50% of all parental duties and C. He pays for the child care.’

Another said: ‘I’m so sorry you gave in. Now it’s up to you to demand he take on his share of the parenting. 

‘Tell him you’re no longer going to neglect your career, and he’s going to have to make some sacrifices for the child he wanted. I would be wild with resentment in your place.’ 

A third wrote: ‘Women really need to stop giving in in these circumstances…would have been better to lose the marriage.’ 

Another said: ‘It’s 2025 not 1965. Both parents should share responsibilities and care for the kid. This benefits the kid and the marriage. Your husband needs to do more.’ 

However, one person warned: ‘People who long to have children are not compatible with people who never want children. They flat-out, irreconcilably, are not compatible. 

‘It’s a bigger issue than money, career, extended family, personality, religious, or other issues.’

Another wrote: ‘He got what he wanted, has little change in his routine, job unaffected, and doesn’t seem to care how you feel. NTA, but resentment will eat you alive. Take back your life and what you wanted for it.’

Elsewhere, a bride-to-be revealed plans for her wedding have turned sour after she shunned her pregnant sister’s suggestion to host a big gender reveal at the reception.