Inside Eminem’s tragic relationship with mother Debbie Nelson who died aged 69: From $10million lawsuit and childhood trauma to the song about her that he’ll now never perform

When Eminem first stormed the charts with his breakout single My Name Is in 1999, it was not only the start of his success as the biggest-selling rapper of all time, but the song also laid out in graphic detail his feud with his mother Debbie.

In the track, he famously rapped that ‘My mom does more dope than I do’, described his early life as ‘very deprived’ and berated her for not breastfeeding, prompting Debbie to pursue a $10million defamation lawsuit against her son and even release her own ‘diss track’.

Now Debbie has died aged 69, it ends all hope of a reconciliation with the man she raised as Marshall Mathers III, who is believed to have supported her financially in her later years, despite not being on speaking terms.

Their relationship seemed beyond repair by 2002, when Eminem released hit song ‘Cleanin’ Out My Closet’, in which he branded her a ‘selfish b****’ who he hoped would ‘burn in hell’, while another track accused her of sprinkling Valium on his food as a child.

Debbie, who featured as a character in her son’s semi-autobiographical film 8 Mile in 2004, told her side of the story, by publishing a tell-all memoir My Son Marshall, My Son Eminem in 2008, in which she said she was ‘heartbroken’ that he’d ‘forgotten the good times we had’.

Eventually, the pair appeared to put their feud to bed with the rapper even vowing to never sing one of his most popular songs on stage anymore as he apologised for his scathing words about Debbie.

While Eminem conceded that he loved his mother and felt compassion for her and their public sparring came to an end, Debbie’s death puts an end to a bitter feud that was never able to be resolved.

TRAUMATIC CHILDHOOD 

Debbie was born in 1955 on a military base in Kansas, and said in her tell-all memoir My Son Marshall, My Son Eminem (2008) that she grew up in a ‘large dysfunctional family’ where she was left to raise her five siblings after her parents divorced when she was 10.

She married Eminem’s father Bruce Mathers when she was 15 and he was 22, and gave birth to Marshall when she was 18 in 1972. 

The 72-hour labour with her son left her close to death due to toxicoma blood poisoning, and went into a coma soon after giving birth and she didn’t wake until ‘several days’ later. 

Debbie was eventually left to take care of her family on her own once again as Bruce left his family soon after Marshall was born.

During her son’s childhood, she would keep getting evicted from trailer parks, moving between Michigan and Missouri, and taking Eminem with her. 

They eventually settled in a working class Detroit neighbourhood, with Eminem later rapping with a friend Mike Ruby and attending open mic contests at the Hip-Hop Shop on West 7 Mile, the ‘ground zero’ of the Detroit rap scene. 

In her memoir, she recalled how a young Eminem ‘would tear around the house in a Batman cape, jump on the sofa to battle imaginary foes, and then crash exhausted onto my lap’.

‘Marshall and I were so close that friends and relatives commented that it was as if the umbilical cord had never been cut,’ she wrote.

She also claimed to have supported Eminem’s early rap career, yet as soon as he found success, Debbie became a frequent target of his lyrics.

In the 2009 track, ‘My Mom’, he claimed his mother sprinkled Valium on his food and this was how he became addicted to the drug.

In his memoir, The Way I Am (2008), he wrote: ‘If you go back and look at the abuse that I took, it’s no surprise I became who I am,’ while in 2010, he told The New York Times magazine: ‘It’d be very hard to repair that relationship.’

The rapper has also discussed in his lyrics how he was bullied as a child, and furiously accused his mother of drug abuse and neglect. 

$10MILLION LAWSUIT

The first public falling out between Debbie and her son came in 1999, when she launched a $10 million lawsuit after Eminem rapped in his song ‘My Name Is’: ‘I just found out my mom does more dope than I do.’ 

Debbie responded to her son by suing him for millions, claiming defamation of character. 

The rapper and record producer’s lawyer then released a statement on behalf of his client saying that the lawsuit was as a ‘result of a lifelong strained relationship’ between the pair.

At the time, the A-lister’s lawyer Paul Rosenberg said: ‘Eminem’s life is reflected in his music. Everything he has said can be verified as true.

‘Truth is an absolute defence to a claim of defamation. This lawsuit does not come as a surprise to Eminem. His mother has been threatening to sue him since the success of his single “My Name Is…”

‘It is merely the result of a lifelong strained relationship between him and his mother. Regardless, it is still painful to be sued by your mother and therefore the lawsuit will only be dealt with through legal channels.’

The lawsuit culminated with Debbie receiving $25,000 – most of which went to her lawyer. A judge ruled that Debbie was only entitled to $1,600 of the settlement, ABC News reported in 2001. 

The loss in court did little to deter Eminem from continuing to slam his mother in his lyrics, and within a year he released ‘Kill You’, where he rapped about Debbie: ‘Just bend over and take it like a s***, okay Ma?’ 

CLEANIN’ OUT MY CLOSET CONTROVERSY

The pair’s relationship seemed beyond repair by 2002, when Eminem released hit song ‘Cleanin’ Out My Closet’, in which he branded her a ‘selfish b****’ who he hoped would ‘burn in hell.’

The lyrics read: ‘You could try to justify the way you treated me, Ma? But guess what, you’re gettin’ older now, and it’s cold when you’re lonely. 

‘And Nathan’s growin’ up so quick, he’s gonna know that you’re phony. And Hailie’s gettin’ so big now, you should see her, she’s beautiful – but you’ll never see her, she won’t even be at your funeral.’ 

His lyrics also included: ‘Witnessin´ your mama poppin´ prescription pills in the kitchen. … My whole life I was made to believe I was sick when I wasn´t.’

Elsewhere, the rapper claimed that Debbie suffered from Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy, a mental illness in which a person acts as if an individual he or she is caring for has a physical or mental illness when the person is not really sick.

He rapped: ‘Going through public housing systems, victim of Munchhausen’s Syndrome / My whole life I was made to believe I was sick when I wasn’t ‘til I grew up, now I blew up.’

Before ‘Cleanin’ Out My Closet’, Debbie surprised many by releasing her own ‘diss track’ aimed at her son, in a little-known song ‘Dear Marshall.’ 

She opened the spoken word song: ‘Marshall, I want you to know that I still love you.’ 

Debbie admitted she was not a perfect mother, but didn’t hold back on her son as she said: ‘Will the real Marshall Mathers please stand up? And take responsibility for his actions?’ 

‘I went without seeking half/It was wrong on me and I see it now as giving you everything. And never questioning anything you did. As you were perfect in my eyes. My unconditional love created a spoiled young man,’ she said in the song. 

DEBBIE’S TELL-ALL MEMOIR

To tell her side of the story, Debbie published her tell-all memoir My Son Marshall, My Son Eminem in 2008, where she said her son was not the ‘overnight sensation’ he presented himself to be. 

‘At first I went along with it for Marshall’s sake – if I made one mistake as a mother, it was giving in to my eldest son’s every whim,’ she wrote.  ‘He never knew his father, and I did all I could to make up for it. 

‘I wasn’t happy when he made up a whole new life for himself – what mother wants to be known as a pill-popping alcoholic who lives on welfare? 

‘To tell the truth, I was heartbroken… I think he’s forgotten the good times we had, and this book is my way of setting the record straight.’ 

She also detailed her own childhood, describing a violent home life in which her dad´s mother, who she spent summers with, was ‘the one woman in my large dysfunctional family to show us kids love.’

That same year, she said in an interview with The Village Voice that she wouldn’t rule out rekindling their bond, saying: ‘It’s a matter of just basically swallowing your pride. It’s like a cashed check. It’s over, it’s done. You need to move on.’ 

She added: ‘I’m not ever gonna give up on my kids. I won’t give up on anybody. There’s hope for everybody.’

PEACE OFFERING 

In 2013, Eminem shocked fans by apologising to his mother, seemingly putting their feud to bed with his song Headlights.

He specifically said he was sorry for ‘Cleanin’ Out My Closet’, saying he cringes ‘every time it’s on the radio’ and vowed to never perform the popular tune again.

The lyrics read: ‘But I’m sorry mama for ‘Cleanin’ Out My Closet,’ at the time I was angry. That song I no longer play at shows and I cringe every time it’s on the radio.’ The last time he played it was at Leeds Festival in 2013. 

‘Cause to this day we remain estranged and I hate it though. Cause you ain’t even get to witness your grandbabies grow,’ he sang at another point. ‘And I’m mad I didn’t get the chance to thank you for being my mom and my dad.’ 

He added: ‘“But regardless, I don’t hate you ’cause, Ma / You’re still beautiful to me, ’cause you’re my Ma […] All you did, all you said, you did your best to raise us both /Foster care, that cross you bear, few may be as heavy as yours.’

The special track came four years after the rapped declared how he had some ‘compassion’ for his estranged mother.

During a 2009 interview on BET, Eminem said of his mother: ‘At the end of the day she’s my mother, and I love her because she’s my mother.

‘Even though we don’t really speak, you know what I mean, she is my mother, I do love her, and I think I got a better understanding of what she was going through or what she may be going through, you know what I mean? Now when I see myself and how I actually became. I think there’s a little compassion factored that goes with that.’

At the time, he said it had been several years since they had last spoken: ‘It’s probably been a couple years. Maybe three even four years.’

MOTHER’S PRIDE

Despite the peace offering, the pair remained estranged. However, in 2022, Eminem was congratulated by his mother publicly after the rapper was inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. 

Debbie congratulated her son in a video that was posted on social media, saying: ‘Marshall, I want to say, I could not let this day go by without congratulating you on your induction into the Hall of Fame.’ 

She continued: ‘I love you very much. I knew you’d get there. It’s been a long ride. I’m very, very proud of you.’

It came a year after Eminem opened his hometown restaurant Mom’s Spaghetti, named after a lyric in his song Lose Yourself, which was from the 8 Mile film soundtrack and sold more than 10 million copies and won two Grammy Awards in 2004.

DEBBIE’S DEATH AGED 69

Eminem´s longtime representative Dennis Dennehy confirmed Debbie’s death in an email on Tuesday. He did not provide a cause of death, although Debbie had battled lung cancer.

In September, InTouch reported that Debbie was ‘terminally ill with advanced lung cancer’. 

‘There are not many options [for Debbie],’ the source said. ‘She is currently staying between the cancer center and with family members. She has a very limited amount of time [left].’

The report alleged that Eminem had been assisting his mother financially but had not been in contact with her or other family members in Missouri for ‘years’.

‘People around her aren’t even sure if Eminem is even aware of what is happening to his mother,’ the insider said. ‘He’s good to his mom. He makes sure he takes care of her, but they don’t really talk. 

‘It would be good for both of them [to communicate]. This could give them the chance to reconcile.’

The insider claimed Eminem has ‘trust issues’ with various family members following a legal battle with his aunt and uncle, who claimed their nephew attempted to evict them in a since-tossed lawsuit. 

EMINEM’S BROTHER’S ‘REACTION’ TO HER DEATH

Eminem’s half-brother Nathan appeared to offer a reaction to the news of their mother’s death.

Nathan ‘Nate’ Mathers, a DJ and music producer, shared his thoughts hours after Debbie’s passing. He captioned an Instagram story: ‘Hatred and mixed emotions today.’ 

Although Eminem is yet to comment on the passing, Nate’s apparent stinging response comes after years of turbulence in his relationship with his mother, which ended with the rapper gaining custody of his brother aged just 16.

Nate’s father, Fred Samra, was one of Debbie’s boyfriends after Eminem’s father Marshall Mathers Jr., abandoned the artist when he was a baby, however he was not on the scene during the brothers’ childhoods.

Aged eight, Nate’s life was upended when he was placed in foster care, and Eminem said he vowed to ‘get in a position to take him’ back – adding to Rolling Stone in 2004: ‘I tried to apply for full custody when I was 20, but I didn’t have the means.’ 

The teenager was eventually adopted by his rap legend half-brother aged 16, and Nate said he became a father figure to him.

In a rare interview with Eminem’s daughter Hailie Jade on her podcast ‘Just a Little Shady’ in 2023, Nate said: ‘He was the best role model I could have had to help me be the dad that I am today.’ 

Nate, who did not immediately respond to a request for comment on his seemingly scathing response to his mother’s passing, has gone on to work in the music industry like his brother, and releases music under the name Nate Kane.