If you’ve clicked on this article, you’re either ready to hate-read a MAFS opinion you think is total trash, or you’re totally on board with what I’m about to say. Either way, you’re definitely watching Married at First Sight this season, and very much across the Lauren Hall showdown (plus dinner party fallout) that went off this week.
What the hell is happening on this season of Married at First Sight?
Here’s a brief recap if you were too busy scrolling Depop during the eps: Lauren is with Clint. She is not into him but says they’re friends. All the couples went on a weekender together in the countryside, and there was a lot of excitement about this involving sprinting for bedrooms, jumping in the pool, etc. Except for Lauren and Clint, who mustered up the energy of a soggy banana. They don’t want to be there (at least, Lauren doesn’t).
This bothered the other couples, so on a girl’s night (woooooo!!) all the other women started needling Lauren about her relationship, questioning if she was trying hard enough to like Clint/enjoy herself in general. In particular, Jamie, Awhina and Beth continued to grill Lauren even when she repeatedly said she didn’t want to talk about it. Eventually, she cracked it and stormed off.
When I say “Lauren cracked it”, and also as a caveat to this opinion piece, I want to acknowledge that Lauren is no saint here. She calls the other women “boganic” and Jamie a “troll”. It’s rude; I’m not about it.
@mafs Lauren’s got a laundry list of things she’d rather be doing… 😉 #MAFS ♬ original sound – Married At First Sight
But the reason Lauren was pissed off in the first place? Her isolating herself from the group? I totally get it.
Imagine you’re sent on a weekender. You’re living in the same house as five other couples, and you don’t get along with ANY of them. I’m not talking about a bunch of acquaintances you can deal with by sticking to easy small talk topics like, I don’t know, the cricket or something. I mean total strangers who you share nothing in common with and who are really excitable when you’re really not.
THEN!! Throw in 400 cameras up your nostril and the fact that everyone in the house is trying to grab the attention of said cameras 24/7, including you (probably), except the way they go about it is by trying to be the biggest personality in the room.
I’d have a level 10 bitch fit meltdown within an hour.
This was the climate that set the stage for the Lauren showdown. Here’s this woman who is clearly more the reserved type, thrust into a situation where she’s surrounded by a mix of outgoing gals and fakery.
Let’s start with that girl’s night. I found the group’s “concern” for Lauren’s relationship so fucking bullshit. This was not a genuine, we’re-all-besties-here moment! My theory? A producer probably told someone to bring it up to get a plot going, so the entire scene didn’t just become a discussion about cheeses. Seeing an opportunity for screen time, everyone else piled on with faux-concern.
Now, it’s a reality TV show. We wouldn’t watch if there wasn’t drama, so of course production wants to stir the pot. And! Of course people on the show want air time; they’re not here for love!!! They’re here for paid sponsorships on Instagram!! They need that sweet, sweet close-up camera shot, baby!
On the one hand, Lauren could have just gritted her teeth and said some vague stuff about it being a slow burn with Clint. Get through it. But let’s remember that this is way worse than when you rock up to the commitment ceremony for a few hours to deal with shit. This is a whole 48-72 hour weekender! Tensions were probably high, and her patience level at zero.
Again, imagine you’re with (what you consider) the worst people ever. I’m not saying the MAFS cast are the worst people ever. It’s subjective. Whatever your personality is, if you’re surrounded by people on the total opposite end of the spectrum, you’re probably going to start hating them eventually.
So, you’re with *your* worst people ever. And then all of those people start kinda judging you and talking to you like they’re relationship experts based on their two week long “relationships”, most of which were recently deeply in the crapper anyway.
My rage levels? They would be rising fast.
I, too, would have snapped and walked off. I’d like to think I wouldn’t be calling people trolls or bogans, but I’d definitely be over everyone’s shit and far more keen to isolate myself on a soggy pool chair with my husband who I don’t really like, but can at least tolerate.
And then! Like a day later, Lauren has to deal with it all being dredged back up again, but this time with a bunch of husbands vying for screen time, trying to prove they’re the Best Guy Ever, sticking up for their bro Clint when your only crime against him is not really being that into him.
This is also part of my Lauren defence. I found it weird how everyone’s attitude was “Lauren’s not trying hard enough with Clint”. She doesn’t like him! And that’s fine! She’s been in the show with him for like, a week? That’s enough time to realise you aren’t interested. It’s way more time than Eliot gave her during their first match, and she’s also not using nonsensical arguments like “she seems like she likes handbags a lot” to justify her lack of attraction.
If she writes “Stay” on Sunday, I’ll change my tune because then, that’s bullshit. But the group’s whole argument about how she should be grateful to be back on the show/should be into Clint coz he’s a nice guy?
I’d also ABSOLUTELY want to skip a dinner party that — I’d assume — would be entirely focused on me being a snob, me not giving ThE ExPeRiMeNT a proper go, blah blah. After that weekender, I’d want to jettison myself into the sun.
@mondrof Why does Lauren from MAFS remind me of Anna Paul 🫠 #MAFS #mafsaustralia ♬ original sound – daisss
None of this is to say that Jamie is the villain here. The arguments online seem to be Team Lauren or Team Jamie, and that’s also ridiculous. Jamie is just Jamie. I found the other women more transparently fame-hungry than Jamie during these episodes, to be honest. Jamie is a loud woman, and I relate as a fellow loud woman. I’m passionate! Loud women often get labelled as aggressive when really, we just get a bit excited. I don’t think “I’m just loud!” is an excuse to stand up and yell at someone and point your finger in their face. But I didn’t see it as Jamie steamrolling over everyone else’s opinion, and while I felt like her judgment of Lauren lacked empathy, I think these women just REALLY don’t relate to each other in the slightest.
In defence of MAFS‘ Lauren Hall
When you feel piled onto by everyone else, you will get riled up. For Lauren, that looks like isolating yourself and shutting down (and calling people names, but there’s no excuse for that; do better). For Jamie, it’s getting more and more emotionally heightened as you try to defend yourself.
You could almost break this whooole thing down to – don’t pile on people! They don’t like it! It feels really shitty! Would Lauren have isolated herself if she hadn’t sensed that everyone was gossiping about her treatment of Clint? Would Jamie have lost it at the dinner party if she hadn’t felt like she was collectively shamed for her personality? Probably not.
MAFS is the ultimate pressure cooker, and sometimes, I think we forget that when we judge people’s behaviour on it.
Melissa is a loud woman freelance writer with lots of opinions. You can find her on Insta.
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