I left my husband for a horse: They’re loyal, steadfast and the loves of their lives… no wonder these woman say no man could ever measure up to their mighty beasts

The jolly romps of Jilly Cooper’s bonk-busting Rutshire Chronicles are enjoying a revival at the moment, as her saucy novel Rivals hits our screens, to rapturous applause.

The series, which received a five-star rave review by Mail TV critic Christopher Stevens, is based on the 1988 sequel to the glorious Riders and again features her irresistible- to-women anti-hero, the Olympic horseman and Tory MP now turned TV mogul, Rupert Campbell-Black (played by Alex Hassell).

And once again he’s knee-deep in lustful women, seducing a journalist in the opening scene in the loo on Concorde as it bursts through the sound barrier.

Yet for certain women, forget the hunk in the skin-tight breeches and boots, it’s the horses that will always have their hearts.

Indeed, when forced to choose, they say it would be horse over husband every time – with one even having been to the divorce courts to prove it.

So why do they love their equine partners – whisper it – more than their husbands – and what do the men in their lives make of it?

There could only be one winner – and it wasn’t hubbie No 1

Amy Howland, a 39-year-old veterinary nurse and vet education tutor, lives in Lincolnshire with her second husband, RAF sergeant Nick, 39, and their three-year-old son Edward. Nick also has a daughter, Maisie, nine, from his first marriage. Amy says:

When my first husband gave me an ultimatum, ‘It’s me or the horse’, in October 2016, I didn’t hesitate. There could only be one winner – and it wasn’t him.

I’d long believed he was jealous of the attention I lavished on Jasmine, my gorgeous black shire cross, who I got in 2014 when we’d been married for three years. I felt he behaved almost as if I had another lover.

I admit I would spend hours with her before and after work and at the weekends, too, when I’d often compete in showjumping, dressage or cross country events.

But in all honesty, Jasmine has given me as much emotional solace as any male partner has.

I’ve been riding since the age of five, got my first pony aged ten and had a horse when I met my first husband, but it died in 2006 and it was then another eight years before I got Jasmine.

She’s been my saviour during tough times, by coincidence arriving just six days after I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis.

Jasmine is always pleased to see me and when I’m feeling down – as I am at the moment because Nick’s abroad with work – she instinctively seems to know and will trot over for a cuddle when she spots me.

We have a strong bond which works both ways. If I’m riding her and she’s feeling anxious, she’ll turn her head to touch the toe of my boot with her nose to reassure herself that I’m there. Just a few weeks after getting her, I was out riding with my mum and became so overwhelmed with emotion that I said: ‘Oh gosh, I think I love her more than my husband.’

The more I fell in love with Jasmine, the more my first husband seemed to resent our bond.

While we’d fallen in love when I was only 19 and married when I was 26, increasingly it felt like he didn’t want me to pursue my equestrian interests and wanted me to devote all my attention to him.

When I fell and broke my arm while riding, he even commented: ‘Clearly that’s because you’re not very good at riding’.

He would send messages while I was competing at events with Jasmine, insisting I be home in time to organise his dinner.

You can probably imagine, then, how he reacted when I had a jasmine flower and a horseshoe tattooed on my ankle, and her name in Arabic on my wrist.

He was blunt: ‘You pay so much attention to that horse and not enough to me. She has to go’.

If he refused to accept how important Jasmine was to me, then I realised we had no future.

I ended my marriage immediately and the divorce was finalised in September 2017.

When I was back on the dating scene, I was on high alert for horse haters. When I matched with a guy on Tinder who asked, ‘Is your horse going to be a problem? Will you pay it more attention than me?’, I replied, ‘Yes!’ then immediately unmatched him.

But when I met Nick six years ago, the first indication we had a future was the fact he listed polo as a hobby.

One of our early dates was spent riding our horses – he has a horse called Minnie – on the beach. We married in April 2022, and he walked down the aisle knowing Jasmine would always be my priority.

Yes, we love each other, but she comes first. Once, he hinted that Jasmine might be getting a bit fat and I was quick to warn him: ‘Careful, I left one husband for this horse, I’ll do it again!’

Nick says:

Jealousy isn’t a word I’d used to describe how I feel about Amy’s relationship with Jasmine.

Why wouldn’t you want your wife to have a bond with an animal that’s helped her through tough times?

But I do have a slight sense of missing out when she and Amy are out together. And I am envious of how well Jasmine behaves for Amy.

As much as I adore my horse Minnie, I’d choose Amy every time – although I know that wouldn’t be the case the other way round, I’ve accepted it.

My partner of 40 years knows I put my horse fin first

Claire Howard, 61, a film extra, lives in Banbury, Oxfordshire, with husband David, 65, a retired banker. Claire says:

There are two men in my life. One is always pleased to see me, gives me unconditional love, never interrupts me and doesn’t complain if I dish up the same dinner every day.

The other is my husband, David. Though we’ve been married for 40 years and he’s the only human male for me, he knows my horse, Fin, will always come first.

Never have I felt as connected to any of my previous horses – I’ve owned five in total – as I do to Fin and never has David been more sidelined.

So intuitive is my connection to Fin, an Irish draught cross thoroughbred, that he senses when I’m having a difficult time – which manifests as equine illness.

For example in December 2016, when I was in hospital having a mastectomy after being diagnosed with breast cancer, Fin fell suddenly ill with lymphangitis, a serious condition which causes swelling of the legs.

The only time he’s been ill since was when my handbag was stolen from my car in June 2020 which sparked another bout of lymphangitis.

When I first met Fin – who I bought for £3,000 in November 2009 – it was love at first sight. He snuggled up to me, showed me attention, and had such loving and expressive eyes – as well as being incredibly handsome.

In contrast, when David and I first met in a pub in Buckinghamshire in 1979, it definitely wasn’t a thunderbolt moment, although there was obviously an attraction.

We married in 1984 and there have been flashpoints in our marriage: like all couples, we argue, usually about Dave not helping me with the household chores, drinking too much beer and not wiping the kitchen work surfaces after making sandwiches.

On occasion I’ve been known to threaten to move out, to which David always replies: ‘Well, don’t forget to take your horse with you!’

David says:

There were times when I first met Claire that we’d be due to go on a date and she would cancel because she’d need to be with a mare who was foaling, or a similar horse-related issue.

So 40 years on, I’m not surprised Claire loves Fin more than me.

I try to be tolerant but I have one red line: Fin is absolutely not allowed to join us on holiday.

A previous one came away with us twice on staycations to Herefordshire and Wiltshire, only to jump a fence and escape, meaning we spent hours of precious holiday time trying to find it.

Welsh cob Starsky is my true sweetheart

Sam Lester, 28, a business development manager in the construction industry, lives in Ringwood, Hampshire, with her husband Kevin Crabb, 40, a project manager. Sam says:

I married Kevin five months ago, but he knew from our first date five years ago that I was still in love with my childhood sweetheart. And that was Starsky, my handsome thoroughbred Welsh Cob. We first met when I was 13 and he was five.

I immediately loved his kind eyes and quirky little mannerisms, like the way he gets an itchy face when I scratch his shoulders.

Since then, Starsky has absorbed all my attention, money and time, and always cheers me up.

I’ve never had to work on our relationship or compromise the way you do with a marriage.

When I met Kevin at work everyone knew I rode and cared for Starsky in every spare moment I had.

So at least he knew what he was getting himself into.

When we bought our dream house three years ago, we built stables. And with beautiful stables, what’s a girl to do but buy two more horses to help fill them?

Coco, my five-year-old Dutch Warmblood, came along in March 2022, followed by Dart, a Dartmoor pony who’s 12, in September 2023.

A keen Arsenal supporter, Kevin plays football for a Sunday league team and would choose a footie pitch over the stables any day.

So you can imagine the sighs and eye rolls when I drag him outside on dark mornings and nights in the rain to help me put the horses to bed.

But Kevin is super supportive of all our animals and the commitment they require from me. Although I do sometimes feel guilty as I have lost count of the number of dates I’ve cancelled for the horses.

Kevin says:

Even ahead of our first date I knew that if our relationship ended up going somewhere then I’d have to make do with second place in Sam’s affections.

But when you see the connection she has with the horses and Starsky in particular, I can’t deny it’s heartwarming.

At times I do find myself getting a little jealous, usually when I’m lying in bed alone at the crack of dawn while she’s with Starsky, or the many nights I’m sitting on an empty sofa while she’s picking up horse manure in the field with her head torch on.

Then I remind myself Starsky makes Sam happy and he’s been in her life longer than I have, so I can only accept that he’s earned his place on the pedestal.