I gave my husband a hall pass when my hysterectomy made it too painful for sex… now I regret it

Forty-nine-year-old mother Laura Gale had struggled with Crohn’s disease and endometriosis for years.

The conditions caused scar tissue to build up outside her uterus and other organs in her pelvis, which began to cause so much pain during sex it was no longer enjoyable. She ultimately underwent a hysterectomy to remove her uterus.  

In a decision made out of love for her husband and the father of her children, she gave him a ‘hall pass’. 

He was permitted to sleep with other women so long as she was part of the selection process and communication between them.

That’s when the unthinkable happened. She soon found out that her husband and his new lover had fallen for each other – now she’s warning other women not to be so ‘naive’.

She said: ‘I wanted to give him this freedom so he didn’t feel obligated to stay because of my health – I just wanted him to be happy in every way possible.

‘We were newly married, and my health deteriorated rapidly, but he stood by me.

‘I had a lot of respect and love for him, so if he needed intimacy, I wanted him to have that but he said no.’

When she originally floated the idea to her husband in 2015, he wasn’t interested.

But then he met a woman in a local pet shop in 2022, and he became interested.

It began when she was diagnosed with several health issues that make intimacy uncomfortable.

Endometriosis results from tissue that lines the uterus – the endometrium – to grow outside the uterus and drape over nearby organs such as the ovaries, fallopian tubes, and other supportive tissues.

It can lead to a build-up of adhesive scar tissue in the pelvis. These adhesions cause severe pain when stretched and pulled during penetration.

Mr Gale met his new partner in a pet shot. Mrs Gale met her and approved, even inviting the woman over to eat dinner with the family

She underwent a hysterectomy – a surgical procedure to remove the womb.

One study reported that 45 percent of the roughly 6.5 million women with the condition find sex painful.

One condition of the arrangement, which began in early 2024, is that Mrs Gale meets the other woman first and is informed of their intimate appointments. 

She also set up a WhatsApp group chat for all of them to communicate openly.

She said: ‘After I met her, I invited her over to our house and she was nice, ticked his boxes and he was eager to go ahead.

‘I didn’t think in a million years he’d fall in love with her.’

Mrs Gale, a mother, said she now feels betrayed by her husband and his new girlfriend, who she said originally said they would be friends

When she visited their home, Mrs Gale shut herself in a room elsewhere in the house. She said it was difficult at first, but she didn’t want to lose her husband.

But soon enough, they began to ignore her, treating her as if she wasn’t there.

The husband and his extramarital partner began communicating in secret. Mrs Gale saw a text message between them in which Mr Gale told the woman he loved her.

The woman moved into the family home, while Mrs Gale moved to a separate guest house without running water.

Mrs Gale said: ‘I thought my husband loved me and wanted the best for me, but his new life was more important.

‘It hurts me that I gave my husband this freedom, and he threw it back in my face. It’s like they wanted me out of the way the whole time, and that breaks my heart.’

Her anger has eclipsed her sadness, and she said she feels ‘naive.’

‘I should have seen this coming.’

The couple is now trying to move forward with a divorce.

Mrs Gale’s husband, who wished to remain anonymous, said: We tried to offer a sister-wives situation, but Laura was upset because she didn’t feel a part of it.’

Mrs Gale feels betrayed after the arrangement upended her life.