I can’t stand being around children aged under 5 – now my wife is shaming me for my choice to avoid nieces and nephews: Am I wrong?

A father has sparked a heated debate online after admitting his ‘disdain’ for children has extended to his own family members – and dozens of people are urging him to ‘seek therapy.’ 

The father-of-two, from the US, revealed he ‘severely dislikes’ babies, toddlers and young children under the age of five – noting his own offspring as being ‘an exception to the rule.’ 

Taking to Reddit on December 9, the man, known anonymously as u/Ill_Shelter5785, went into detail about his situation on the subreddit, ‘AITA’ – in a post which has since been taken down. 

In it, he shared that his wife began challenging his aversion to children following his recent choice to steer clear of his nieces and nephews, leading to heated arguments between the pair. 

He explained: ‘I do not want to be around, hold or watch my nieces and nephews. I will point out that I have two of my own children.’ 

The father noted that despite his own little ones being ‘a ton’ of joy and happiness to his life, he recalls having had a ‘disdain’ for and ‘strong negative feelings’ toward younger children since the age of four.

He added: ‘I find nothing about them appealing and if I could spend my entire life without being in the same room as a young child, I would live a very happy life.’ 

The man shared that despite his wife of twenty years being aware of his aversion to kids, she has since grown to oppose his behaviour following the births of nieces and nephews on either side of the family. 

He added: ‘She is constantly trying to make me hold their children, volunteers to watch them, and tries to force me to be around them. 

‘I cannot state in words how frustrating this is to me. But lately she has started to shame me for not engaging with them. We have had multiple arguments surrounding this subject.’

The dad concluded by asking fellow Redditors if he is a ‘bad person’ for choosing to avoid spending times with his nieces and nephews. 

The post has since prompted mixed reactions from over one thousand users – with the majority calling out the man’s ‘weird’ behaviour. 

One person quizzed: ‘How the hell do you hate on a newborn?’ while another commented: ‘I’m confused about you having two kids? What did you do with them when they were 0-5years old? 

‘I don’t even know what judgement to give, probably YTA because this just feels so weird. I’m childfree and I don’t like all ages of children, and I am really struggling to wrap my brain around this.’

A third added: ‘It’s one thing to prefer not being around children, but I also think it’s looney tunes to refuse to be in your niece/nephew’s life and think you can come around once they’re at an age when you can stand them. 

‘As a parent, I’d remember those 4 years of you disliking them and not let you be a part of their lives, period. So for that I think I have to say YTA.’

Another remarked: ‘YTA. Go to therapy. The children are people and you are their family. 

‘If you creep them out before they turn 4 they won’t forget it. You’re an uncle, you don’t have to hold the kids, but you should give at least a milli-s**t about what happens to them.’

However, a number of Redditors appeared to side with the father, with one writing: ‘NTA. Fact is the only ones who care about whether one makes time for babies and toddlers are the adults. The babies and toddlers don’t know any different.

‘I am like you OP. I don’t like babies and toddlers. Children become more interesting to me when they are older and I can engage them. 

‘My friends and family know not to expect me to carry their newborns or babysit their kids. I don’t go out of my way to avoid them but I don’t go out of my way to look for them either.’

Agreeing, another added: ‘This would be me. It’s more of the fact of, I don’t want to be the reason something went wrong with someone else’s kid, so I just refuse to even be in that situation. 

‘Can’t drop someone’s baby, or transfer an illness, if you don’t grab it to begin with lol.’

It comes after a man revealed he walked out on a date after the woman he was seeing revealed she had a child and wanted him to help her raise her son.

The unnamed Redditor posted on the forum’s Am I The A**hole (AITA) subreddit asking people to weigh in about whether or not he was in the wrong for his actions.

The Reddit post was titled: ‘AITA for leaving someone at a [restaurant] because she lied to me about having a kid (expected me to take care of them and pay for them). After 3 weeks of dating.’

Countless Redditers flooded the comments section with the vast majority agreeing the OP was Not The A**hole, or NTA for short.