Having your hair played with is a beloved childhood pastime for many people. As we grow up, out of our favourite playgrounds and into cubicles, it loses its normalcy and becomes reserved for our romantic partners – we braid our friend’s hair less often, and our parents stop brushing ours. But that doesn’t mean we stop wanting it. Lately, my TikTok algorithm has been feeding me videos of in-person ‘hair play’ appointments from budding ASMR spas worldwide. These ‘light touch’ sessions aren’t massages: they involve whispering, tapping, scratching and (of course) brushing your head. Essentially, they bring your favourite elements from ASMR videos into a new type of wellness appointment. As someone who has always wished the hair-washing element of my salon visits could be at least half of the experience, I was immediately intrigued. I quickly Googled if there were appointments in my area and found Whisper Wave, New York’s first ASMR spa.
On the day of my appointment, I had (like I often do) spent most of the morning feeling stressed – scoffing my lunch while still at my laptop and frantically making my way to Whisper Wave’s Williamsburg location in the late afternoon. My energy shifted as soon as I arrived. Rebecca, the owner of Whisper Wave, greeted me in the lobby with a soft-spoken voice (yes, actually whispering), and I set my phone to DND. “I think I was honestly looking for a service like this myself and just saw a huge gap in the wellness market,” she told me. “There are massages, acupuncture and reiki, but there was nothing that focuses on the best part of those treatments: soft touch.” This, she says, means Whisper Wave and other ASMR spas (like Cloud Chilled Spa in London) are building a market together that didn’t previously exist.
There’s a stigma that comes with our stoic culture when it comes to personal space, and specifically with our current squeamishness with intimacy.
Rebecca, who has been a lifelong fan of ASMR, opened Whisper Wave in January. Since then, she’s been surprised at the range of clients the service has attracted. According to her, it’s been people of all ages and sexes (although it skews slightly more towards women). She estimates that around 85 per cent of her clients are people who watch ASMR videos and found Whisper Wave organically, but she did get an influx of requests after the US election results. “One client says she felt like it was almost embarrassing to ask for care,” she says. “There’s a stigma that comes with our stoic culture when it comes to personal space, and specifically with our current squeamishness with intimacy.” She predicts (and hopes) that these in-person ASMR experiences will continue to grow as that stigma diminishes.
Research has shown that ASMR videos can reduce anxiety levels, and Rebecca tells me her appointments are designed to do the same. “It’s a service that focuses on care for the nervous system in an accessible and playful way,” she says. This comes at a cost of $162 per session, something many are willing to fork out for. “People’s nervous systems are completely fried right now,” Rebecca adds, leading me into the room for my appointment. She opened the door to reveal a small room dimly lit with a red sunset light and a massage table wrapped in silk sheets in the centre. As I lay face-down, I noticed her range of brushes and scratching instruments lined up along the side table.
My one-hour appointment at Whisper Wave took me back to the most caring moments of childhood. In one moment, Rebecca would be brushing my hair for me and whispering that she would “pluck out the worries and negative thoughts” from my head. Next, she’d write messages on my back and “crack an egg” over my head like my friends and I did on the school playground. While I tend to overthink during massage appointments (worrying about if I’m “present” enough to enjoy it or wondering how to tell the masseuse they can go harder), Rebecca’s session kept me in a meditative-like state – similar to your parents tucking you into bed. There were crinkle noises and soft scratches that felt (almost) ticklish, but I didn’t want it to end.
Live ASMR is a bridge. Outside of romance, many people aren’t receiving enough physical touch and can go weeks without more than a handshake.
While I didn’t consider myself a huge fan of ASMR (although I do always enjoy the videos I come across online), my entrance into the world of Whisper Wave was through a TikTok-fueled desire to experience ‘hair play’. This, according to Rebecca, is increasingly common amidst today’s loneliness epidemic. “Live ASMR is a bridge,” she says. “Outside of romance, many people aren’t receiving enough physical touch and can go weeks without more than a handshake.” She has also started doing weekly polls on social media to allow her clients to have input into the in-person ASMR appointments. Last week, they decided on the theme of a “dream world”, requesting an extra whimsical immersive experience.
I left my first ASMR spa appointment somewhat reluctantly, walking to the train at a far slower pace than when I arrived. In the hours after, I realised I may have drastically underestimated how relaxing it can feel to experience gentle caretaking as an adult. Rebecca considers Whisper Wave her “love letter to the world”, and, for me, the session achieved it’s intended goal: getting me out of my head and feeling cared for. Sometimes, all you need is to have your hair brushed by a complete stranger – someone who will tell you everything is going to be okay.
