I advise women on cosmetic tweaks for a living – here’s why I didn’t tell my daughters about my job for years

My daughters Grace and Georgia-Mae, aged 12 and 14, are happy and well-balanced girls. Like any mother, my biggest hope is that they stay this way as we navigate the choppy waters of teendom.

As far as possible, I don’t want them to stress about conforming to the ideals of beauty that surround them.

And that’s why, until recently, I didn’t tell them how I make my living in the very industry that can pile so much pressure on young girls. It was one of those awkward parenting conversations, like about Father Christmas or sex, that I opted not to have.

My daughters have had the usual tween tribulations: coming home from school feeling sad or anxious about friendships or being in teams. I didn’t want to add to this weight by explaining there’s a certain way women want to look. No child should remotely worry about that.

So when they were little, I told them I was a beauty editor and left it at that. It was only last year, when the girls started asking more questions about what I do, that I felt it necessary to explain. I told them that actually, I run a consultancy advising men and women on the best cosmetic procedures to have.

They weren’t shocked, but they were understandably curious.

My girls aren’t too self-critical yet. They comment on celebrities they think are pretty, but have never said they want to change their own appearance. If they did, I would impress on them that this is a decision they need to make when they’re older.

At the same time, if they do have worries then I believe it’s best to talk about them and understand it’s possible to change things further down the track.

Beauty consultant Olivia Falcon with her daughters Grace, aged 12, and Georgia-Mae, 14

Far from exacerbating their self-criticism, I hope my expert knowledge will protect them. Unfortunately, the aesthetic industry is not, on the whole, a safe place. Here in the UK it’s appallingly unregulated, and for every great doctor there are many supremely unqualified individuals allowed to inject fillers and use powerful energy-based devices that can permanently damage skin. There is also a lot of upselling – telling people, often young women, that they ‘need’ far more than is ethical.

I don’t want the girls to feel that everyone has to have tweakments, and I am constantly telling them how healthy and beautiful they are.

But I also want them to know you shouldn’t judge people if they do want to make changes. It’s incredibly patronising to think that women can’t decide for themselves, and I’d never judge anyone for how they want to look. It’s a choice, just like an ear piercing or a tattoo (not that I ever want my girls to have tattoos!)

About 80 per cent of my clients are aged over 40. I don’t get paid by clinics or individual doctors, instead charging clients £480 for a one-hour consultation. And a large part of my job is persuading people they [its] don’t [its] need so much work. I personally don’t think the majority of people in their 20s need to be having ‘preventative’ treatments, either.

But there’s little point trying to explain these nuances to young children, so I simply avoided the conversation.

Something else I’ve been able to hide – until recently – is the treatments I have myself. When I had an upper eyelid lift, the girls were only about nine and ten, and for the first two days I hid myself away. They didn’t clock it; you could barely see any bruising, and children are supremely indifferent to the adult world unless it affects them.

There have been other times, when I’ve come home after a laser or Morpheus8 (microneedling with radiofrequency) treatment, and my face is red and swollen, so they’ve wondered what I’ve had done. I’m always honest and explain that I’ve had a facial treatment without going into exact details.

But as they get older, I’ve had to become more mindful of what I say about my tweakments, such as fillers and Botox.

As Grace and Georgia-Mae get older, their mother Olivia has become more mindful of what she says about tweakments such as fillers and Botox

I’m not there yet, but probably in my later 50s I will go down a surgical facelift route – and I will undoubtedly be talking to my family about that, too.

I think it’s important to tell them that I am not having tweakments to dramatically change my looks. I am having them to age gracefully and to look my best self. I certainly don’t believe in following aesthetic fashions for pouty lips or fox eyes.

My own mother has always been immaculate and glamorous. She’s been a good influence on me – instilling the importance of looking after your skin.

Now well into her seventies, she looks a good 15 years younger. She’s always had tweakments, and when we watched Dynasty in the 1980s she would comment on how wonderful Joan Collins’s skin was.

As a teenager I suffered from breakouts, and I remember her taking me for a facial on Kensington High Street at a now-closed salon called Violet Adair.

The truth is, young people have always been exposed to beauty ideals. I remember at school in the 1980s, plenty of children were teased for ears that stuck out or crooked teeth, which were usually resolved by worried parents.

The biggest change these days is that as kids hit adolescence and get a smartphone, they have access to TikTok (even if you ban it, they look at friends’ phones). They see influencers pushing skincare products and certain aesthetic ‘looks’. Meanwhile, filters and AI distort reality and encourage young children to alter their own appearance – subtly at first, by adding rabbit ears or a silly hat, but soon by adding make-up or smoothing skin and altering features. It is a game at first, but it inevitably becomes instinctive to change yourself.

As a result of influencers online, there’s been a massive boom in children using adult skincare containing acids, and retinol, which is totally inappropriate for delicate young skin. At one point my eldest daughter’s dressing table was groaning with Drunk Elephant, Glossier and other luxury brands swiped from my bathroom. My warnings about ingredients fell on deaf ears.

In the end, last year I took both girls to see dermatologist Dr Emma Craythorne because they were getting congested skin. Now Grace is only using a prescription product with teen-appropriate ingredients.

I’m sure there will be plenty of women out there who criticise me, or think I ought to be ashamed of what I do. People get very judgmental about cosmetic work. I once posted a video about the lines on my forehead and said, ‘I need some Botox’. I got savaged in the comments. Recently, I did a post about ear-lobe reduction and someone got outraged about it.

Some will say my job will encourage my daughters to think more about their own looks, make them more likely to have tweakments one day, and yes, to some extent this is true.

(My eldest now follows me on social media because I’m her mum, but so far she isn’t remotely interested in my content!)

But I’m proud of my career helping women look and feel their best. And when my girls are 18, I’d like nothing more than for them to come and do work experience with me.