‘Her husband said hello on the school run and I never saw him again’: The truth about how married women REALLY feel about their single friends – and the cruel remark that still keeps me up at night: SEALED SECTION

For years, I was tight with two guy friends. We’d have dinners, big nights out and speak daily in a hilarious group chat. It was great. 

Then one of them met a special lady, and gradually he started spending less time with us. Eventually he married her and they had children.

I always went out of my way to make his wife feel comfortable. I never pushed the boundaries – no texting at inappropriate times, no inviting him out without her. 

I respected the sisterhood and was genuinely happy he’d found someone to settle down with. Except… I always got a weird feeling around her.

For some reason, she would make subtle, passive digs about my appearance.

Once, we were all at a wedding, and some random guy had been cracking onto me all night and it was getting annoying. 

The next time I saw her, she laughed and said, ‘After you left the wedding without hooking up with him, he drunkenly announced to everyone, “I don’t get it, she’s not even that hot!”‘

Firstly, what an obnoxious thing to say about a woman just because she didn’t want to sleep with you. Secondly, why did my friend’s wife go out of her way to make sure I knew what he’d said? It was like she was waiting for just the right moment to deliver the blow. I’d love to say I ignored the remark, but it stung a little. I still think about it.

Another time, she asked me – very bluntly, in front of people – what Botox and filler I was getting because my face looked different. I wouldn’t have cared if we were close – in fact, I’ll tell pretty much anyone that I get half a mil in my lips and love a eyebrow lift – but the way she said it felt pointed, like she wanted to put me on the spot.

Then, at a lunch with a big group of friends, she hit me with another zinger: ‘Oh my god, I’ve never noticed that mole under your eye! Has it gotten bigger?’ 

I’d always liked my little mole – Blake Lively has one just like it. But suddenly, it felt gross. She literally made other people look at it, to the point where her husband had to step in and say, ‘That’s enough.’

The following week, I had the mole removed. And then instantly regretted it. It was like a piece of me was gone. A fun little quirk erased.

That was the last time I saw them. The passive-aggressive comments about my appearance had reached their limit. Every time I left her company, I felt a little worse about myself. So I stopped hanging out with them.

My best friend did what all good best friends do and reassured me: ‘She’s just jealous of you!’ Bless.

But the ridiculous part was that I was the safest woman to be around her husband. I had zero interest in him – he’s a brilliant guy, but just not my type. Looking back, she wasted so much energy belittling someone who was never a threat.

Watching the three best friends in The White Lotus slowly unravel over the last few weeks reminded me of her – the passive, snarky comments that weren’t really about me, but about her own insecurities. 

And it got me wondering: How many other single women have experienced the same thing?

I threw the question out to my Instagram followers, and the responses were interesting to say the least…

‘No one spoke to me all night’  

‘I’ll never forget the night I went to an old female friend’s party where everyone else was married. Not one woman spoke to me all night,’ one follower told me. 

‘Meanwhile, all their husbands made polite conversation with me while their wives stood close by, keeping an eye on me and them. It wasn’t like these men were flirting, but the tension was suffocating. 

‘Later, I realised they felt threatened just because I was single. Even now, my married friends rarely invite me to group gatherings; I only get one-on-one catch-ups. It’s like they see me as a risk just for existing.’

‘Now I’m divorced, married women hate me’ 

‘When I was married, I never even noticed single women. Now that I’m divorced, married women hate me. It’s like they suddenly see me as a threat, even though I got rid of my own husband. I definitely don’t want theirs!’ another woman told me.

‘It really hit me when some husbands at pre-school drop-off greeted me by name. It seemed innocent enough, but their wives shot daggers at me. What? Because their husbands knew my name?

‘The worst part is that I’ve lost so many married friends because of it. My social life hasn’t changed, my hobbies haven’t changed, and my morals haven’t changed. But because I now go out, date and have fun, I face serious internalised misogyny and even slut-shaming from women I once considered close. It’s been a real eye-opener.’

‘One by one, the invites to drinks dried up’ 

‘For years, I was part of a tight-knit friendship group with three guys. We did everything together. It was easy, fun and completely platonic. I’ve just always got on better with guys than girls,’ said a woman whose story sounded similar to my own.

‘Then one of them met a woman who, at first, seemed nice enough. Polite, a little reserved – but I felt the shift. Suddenly, she was making little comments about how I was “one of the boys” – but in a way that made it clear she didn’t think I belonged. 

‘When I’d chime in on the group chat, she would respond for him (weird!) She even once made a snide remark about how “quickly I drop everything to come hang with her boyfriend” despite the fact I had a full-time job and wasn’t even single.

‘Then, the boys were planning a weekend getaway – something we’d done for years. Only this time, my invite never came. When I asked about it, my friend awkwardly said, “She just thinks it’s strange if you come.” Strange? I’d been part of this group long before she came along! But to her, I wasn’t a lifelong friend, I was a threat.

‘That was it. No fight, no blow-up – just the slow, suffocating realisation that I was no longer welcome. One by one, the invites to drinks dried up. The group chat got quieter. And eventually, I was just… out. He married her, and I haven’t seen him since.’

‘I was erased’ 

‘When my closest guy friend got engaged, I was so happy for him. We’d been tight for years and I’d met heaps of his girlfriends,’ a follower told me (sadly I knew exactly where this story was going…)

‘Naturally, when he proposed to the latest one, I assumed I’d be at the wedding, considering we’d been friends for more than 10 years. His fiancée and I weren’t exactly besties, but I’d always made an effort to be warm and supportive. Then, the invites went out. Mine never came.

‘At first, I thought it was a mistake. But when I brought it up with him he got that awkward look. It wasn’t an accident. His fiancée told him she didn’t want me there. 

‘No real reason given, just that it “didn’t feel right”. And instead of standing up for me, he said, “It’s not worth the drama”.

‘I was stunned. After years of friendship, I was suddenly not invited. The most ridiculous part is that I was already engaged to someone else! There was no history, no flirting, just a long-standing friendship that she clearly wasn’t comfortable with.

‘I was erased. They got married. I didn’t hear from him again. And honestly I don’t even miss him anymore. If anything, I just feel sorry for him.’

‘She snapped, “He’s my husband now”‘ 

‘I had a mate whose wife made a big scene whenever I touched him – even a friendly arm squeeze. One night, I playfully grabbed his shoulder when he made a joke, and she snapped, “He’s my husband now.”

‘It was so awkward. I’m not sure if she thought I secretly had feelings for him, but I started backing off completely. It sucks because he and I had been friends for more than a decade.’

And then there was Rachel, who shared a point of view from the wife’s side of the fence…

‘I started questioning everything’ 

‘I went on a boating weekend where one of the only single women there decided to say to my husband, “You want this, don’t you?” referring to her body. The whole weekend, she kept chasing after him, asking where he was, making little comments like, “Oh, you’re going to bed now, Darren?” while I was standing right next to him.

‘My husband brushed it off, saying it didn’t mean anything, but the tension and drama it caused between us was awful. I started questioning everything.’

So, what’s really going on here? Is it insecurity? A primal instinct? A case of ‘you can’t sit with us’ energy?

Whatever it is, the tension between married and single women is real and, honestly, a little exhausting.

Because let’s be clear: most of us aren’t out here trying to poach your husbands. Some of us are too busy swiping left on our own terrible options.

Maybe, just maybe, it’s time we all take a deep breath, stop side-eyeing each other across the dinner table, and remember we’re not the enemy. Hell, it’s tough being single right now, so perhaps a little empathy?

Unless, of course, you’re actually the single friend who tells married men, ‘You want this, don’t you?’ Eww. Kick her out. 

Most of us just want to find a nice single guy who knows how to brush his teeth properly and changes his bed sheets from time to time. Give us a break!