Heartbroken parents of 12-year-old girl Charlotte O’Brien who was ‘bullied to death’ break down as they recall the horrifying texts that sealed her fate – and the message they want every Aussie to hear

The distraught parents of 12-year-old schoolgirl Charlotte O’Brien, who took her own life just over two months ago, have spoken about their final hours with her. 

Mat Howard and his wife Kelly are carrying out their daughter’s final wishes, that her story be told and that Australians understand that social media can kill.

Mr Howard broke down talking to 60 Minutes on Sunday night about September 9, the last night of Charlotte’s life, when she seemed to be the happiest she had been in weeks.

‘We know that she had ongoing struggles and the last two weeks was the best two weeks that I can remember with her,’ he said.

‘We thought we were really turning a corner. She’d come home from school that day and she’d had a great day.

‘Kelly had made her favourite dinner that night. She ran in the house to have her dinner. That night she skipped off to bed, literally skipped.’

The Howards, holding close a teddy bear that now contains their daughter’s ashes, both broke down in tears.  

‘We never saw her again,’ Mr Howard said. 

Charlotte’s final act before taking her life that night was to leave handwritten notes for her parents. 

One asked her mum to keep living for Charlotte’s 18-month-old brother, Will.

Another pleaded with her mum and dad to tell her story to raise awareness of what can happen to children online.

The bullying Charlotte, a Year 7 student at Santa Sabina College at Strathfield in Sydney’s inner-west was suffering at school continued in cruel messages sent to her on social media on the night she died.

Her parents came across a friend of Charlotte’s that she had met online.

‘She had shared with us some of the things that Charlotte had spoken to her about that night, after she went up to bed,’ Mr Howard said.

‘(Charlotte) had called her just completely distressed and shared the the messages that she had read.’

Mr Howard said the parents could not say exactly what they have been told.

‘But what I will tell you is what we’ve been told is some of the worst words that anybody should have to read, let alone a 12-year-old girl,’ he said.

The couple said it was messages sent to Charlotte on social media platform  Snapchat in particular, that tipped her over the edge.

‘She only had it back on for just over a week, and that week was enough to have a significant impact on her to lead to where we are now,’ her dad said.

Kelly found her daughter’s body the next morning, and one of the first things she saw was Charlotte’s phone on the bedroom floor.

‘I just kept saying to the police that morning, ‘Where did she get the knowledge and the means?’,’ Ms Howard said through tears.

‘I couldn’t wrap my head around it, and (the police officer) just said to me, ‘This is the age of information.”

She added that ‘Giving our kids these phones, we’re giving them weapons. We’re giving them the world at their fingertips.’

Ms Howard described Charlotte as ‘the sweetest, funniest, most helpful, amazing girl in the world.’

She was the best big sister, the best daughter,’ she said.

‘She just loved to love and to be loved.’

The heartbroken parents recently travelled to Canberra to sit down with the Prime Minister to discuss what happened to their beloved  daughter and press him to bring in legislation to limit access to social media to those aged 16 and over. 

But before they met him, Anthony Albanese announced that the Australian Government would introduce ‘world-leading’ legislation to ban social media for all children under 16, with no exemptions even if they have parental permission.

‘Social media is doing harm to our kids and I’m calling time on it,’ Mr Albanese said, adding that he had spoken to ‘thousands of parents, grandparents, aunties and uncles’ on the issue.

‘They, like me, are worried sick about the safety of our kids online. I want Australian families to know that the government has your back. I want parents to be able to say, ‘Sorry, mate, that’s against the law.”

There are many opponents, though, who say the legislation, if passed, won’t work, that children will find ways around it that could lead them into more danger.

One of those opponents is Western Sydney University Professor Amanda Third, who is among of 140 Australian and international academics with expertise in technology and child welfare who signed an open letter to the federal government on the issue.

‘One thing that I need to make clear is that those of us who are opposing the ban are not opposing the ban because we think social media companies should be able to run riot,’ Prof Third said.

‘We’re opposing the ban because we believe that this is a blunt instrument, and what we need are much more fine-grained regulatory instruments that actually will hold social media companies to account for their responsibilities to children and their parents.’

She believes the social media giants such as Instagram, Facebook, TikTok and X should be forced to better regulate their content.

An age limit ban could make things worse, she fears. 

‘I don’t think we’ve got effective ways of keeping children out of those spaces and children won’t be able to ask for help when they do end up in those spaces.’

But Mat and Kelly are fighting on in Charlotte’s memory.  

‘It is the deepest of deep grief. It’s the first thing you think of in the morning and all throughout the day it never leaves you,’ Mat said.

‘And then at night, that’s when the nightmares kick in.’  

Kelly said: ‘I don’t want her to ever be forgotten. She didn’t live long enough to make her own legacy. Maybe this could be it.’

For the Howards, a social media ban on under-16s needs to only save one life for it to all be worth it.

‘If we can just stop it from happening again to somebody else, then maybe this is Charlotte’s wish,’ Mat said.

If you or someone you know needs support, help is available 24/7.

Call Lifeline on 13 11 14, or Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800.