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Having sex once a week is the perfect recipe for a happy marriage, scientists say

Having sex once a week or so is the perfect recipe for a happy marriage, a study shows.

Researchers found that couples who were intimate weekly were just as content as those having sex several times a week – and much more satisfied with their relationships than others who have sex once a fortnight or less.

Psychologists from the University of Alberta in Canada wanted to find out if intimacy is crucial to a relationship or whether many couples can be sexless but happy.

A 2020 YouGov poll found that 11 per cent of British couples have sex once a week, 7 per cent twice weekly and 9 per cent at least three times.

But the numbers decline as people grow older. Almost a fifth of those in their early 40s said they have no sex at all. For those in their mid-70s, this proportion jumps to 57 per cent.

The Alberta team tracked 2,000 couples, mostly in their 20s and 30s, in long-term relationships where they were either married or living together.

They recorded how active their love lives were and compared the data with results on relationship satisfaction.

The research, published in the Journal of Family Psychology, showed that those who get passionate on a weekly basis were less likely to argue and were more inclined to share their feelings with each other.

Having sex once a week or so is the perfect recipe for a happy marriage, a study shows (stock image)

Researchers found that couples who were intimate weekly were just as content as those having sex several times a week – and much more satisfied with their relationships than those who have sex once a fortnight or less (stock image)

Researchers found that couples who were intimate weekly were just as content as those having sex several times a week – and much more satisfied with their relationships than those who have sex once a fortnight or less (stock image)

But the vast majority of couples who got intimate only every few weeks had lower levels of relationship satisfaction. 

In a report on their findings, the researchers said the result showing weekly sex binds couples together is good news for couples who worry they should be at it all the time in order to be happy.

‘This may counter unrealistic expectations that couples should be having sex multiple times a week, or the belief that the more sex they have, the better,’ the report said.

But what of happy sexless couples? ‘We found only 2.3 per cent of them reported being happy with their relationship, despite not having had sex in the past three months.’

Former Take That singer Robbie Williams, 51, talked publicly in 2023 about how the passion had gone from his marriage to Ayda Field, 45, but that the couple still loved to cuddle and spend time together.

He blamed a slump in his libido after coming off testosterone replacement therapy, which he used to tackle his depression.

…And 153 issues that cause relationship strife

Messy partners, a lack of passion and rows over who does the washing up are the most likely reasons to cause marital discord.

They are at the top of 153 problems that can occur in relationships, according to research, and irritable, selfish and know-all partners are more of a headache than the traditional interfering in-laws.

Lack of loyalty and respect, disagreement over family planning, and privacy invasion, such as reading a partner’s email, were lower down the list.

‘Intimate relationships tend not to be easy, and in the study, we have identified problems that plague them,’ say the researchers, whose study appears in Human Nature magazine.

They quizzed more than 200 men and women. Around 70 per cent were married and 30 per cent in a long-term relationship.

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