Do you REALLY know the man you’re falling in love with? A dating expert reveals the 15 ‘make-or-break’ questions every woman must ask – and ignore them at your peril…

A master matchmaker has revealed the crucial questions every woman should ask to determine if their partner is ‘the one’.

Louanne Ward, a certified relationship expert with two decades’ experience, says it’s important to ask these questions around the three-month mark to gauge whether you’re aligned on the most important topics. 

Previously, Louanne shared the eight ‘golden’ questions best asked at the very early stages of dating.

As the relationship enters the ‘exclusive’ stage, this second series of 15 questions will help to determine compatibility across seven key areas of life. The beauty of these questions is that they apply to all romantic relationships, regardless of age.

Part two: The exclusive stage

Once you’ve established a potential future relationship and you have decided to date exclusively – which typically happens at about the three-month mark – it’s crucial to understand compatibility across the seven areas of life.

The following 15 questions are designed to delve deeper into your partner’s values, beliefs and life goals, helping you uncover whether you’re aligned in the most important aspects.

1. When you think about your future, what vision excites you the most?

This encourages your partner to reflect on their long-term goals and passions, revealing whether your future together might be compatible. It’s not just about career ambitions; it’s about understanding the broader vision that drives your partner’s decisions.

2. In challenging situations, what inner resources or strategies do you rely on to navigate through?

Understanding how your partner handles adversity provides insight into their resilience and coping mechanisms. This is crucial because how someone deals with stress can significantly impact the relationship during tough times.  

3. How do your relationships with your family influence your decisions and lifestyle?

This question uncovers the impact of family dynamics on your partner’s life choices, helping you understand how they prioritise family and how it might affect your relationship. Family influences can shape values, priorities and even conflict- resolution styles. 

4. Can you share a philosophy or principle that guides your financial decisions?

Discussing financial philosophies helps reveal the values behind your partner’s spending and saving habits, which is essential for long-term financial compatibility. Money is a major cause of relationship conflict, so understanding this early on is critical.

5. What gestures or actions make you feel most connected and loved? 

This question digs into your partner’s love language, ensuring that you can express affection in meaningful ways. Knowing how your partner prefers to give and receive love can prevent misunderstandings and strengthen your bond.

6. What qualities do you believe are essential for a relationship to thrive?

Understanding the qualities your partner values in a relationship can help you see whether your views on what makes a relationship successful align. This question helps clarify whether you share the same priorities when it comes to partnership. 

7. In what ways do you invest in your personal growth, and how do you see that evolving? 

A commitment to personal growth is vital for a healthy relationship. This question helps gauge whether your partner is interested in continuous self-improvement and how that might impact your relationship over time. 

8. Are there any boundaries or standards you consider non-negotiable in a relationship?

Discussing non-negotiables early on helps prevent future conflicts and ensures that you’re both clear on what is and isn’t acceptable in the relationship. It’s about respecting each other’s limits and ensuring mutual respect. 

9. What role do you see yourself playing as a parent, and how do you envision your family life? 

If having a family is important to you, this question reveals your partner’s thoughts on parenting and family dynamics, ensuring that your visions align. It’s essential to understand each other’s expectations regarding children and family life.

10. How does your spiritual or religious belief shape your worldview and daily life? 

This question ties your partner’s spirituality to their overall life perspective, helping you understand how it influences their decisions and behaviour. Shared or compatible spiritual beliefs can strengthen a relationship, while major differences might be challenging to reconcile.

11. When faced with a disagreement, what approach do you find most effective in reaching an understanding? 

Understanding your partner’s conflict-resolution strategies is key to maintaining a healthy relationship, ensuring that disagreements are handled constructively. Knowing how they prefer to resolve conflicts can prevent future arguments from escalating. 

12. How do you choose to spend your free time, and what does that say about what you value? 

This question uncovers the significance behind your partner’s hobbies and interests, revealing what they truly value in life. Shared interests can enhance the relationship, but it’s also important to respect individual hobbies.

13. What does a balanced life mean to you, especially in the context of work and personal time? 

Discussing work-life balance helps you see whether your partner’s priorities align with yours, preventing future conflicts over how time is spent. A balanced approach to work and leisure is crucial for long-term relationship health. 

14. How do you define commitment in a relationship, and what does that look like in practice? 

This question explores your partner’s understanding of commitment, helping you determine whether their approach aligns with your expectations for a long-term relationship. It’s about understanding the depth of their dedication to the partnership.

15. What practices or routines do you follow to maintain your health and wellbeing?

Understanding your partner’s approach to health and self-care is crucial for ensuring you share similar values around wellbeing and lifestyle choices. Health is a significant part of life and aligning on this can contribute to a harmonious relationship.

Next in our series… Part three: The real test of compatibility