Chelsea 4-2 Brighton: Cole Palmer scores FOUR in a historic first half as the Blues continue bright start under Enzo Maresca

Sanity will return to Stamford Bridge one day. On the basis of this game, let’s collectively hope it doesn’t arrive any time soon.

It was wild. It was loopy. It was a day when the Premier League’s most sensible club visited one of the more dysfunctional and suffered the sort of beating that warrants a long lie down and a longer review.

For that, Fabian Hurzeler will forever identify Cole Palmer with a great, thumping trauma. Cold Palmer? He was hotter than lava.

‘You can’t stop him,’ said Brighton’s manager and it was perhaps his shrewdest piece of judgement all afternoon.

To catalogue the terror Palmer brought to this party, it is necessary to pinpoint a period of the first half between the eighth minute and the 41st. You see, Brighton led this game going into that stretch. In fact, they were controlling it and their early goal from Georginio Rutter was fair reward.

The England international became the first player ever to score four first-half goals in the Premier League

It marks Palmer’s third hat-trick for the Blues since joining the club from Man City last summer

But then it all turned quite spectacularly. To the most dizzying passages of play in the history of this division, we can add the subsequent sequence that saw Palmer hit a post, have a strike disallowed for offside before whizzing from one goal to three in the space of 10 minutes.

His free-kick to complete that hat-trick was just marvellous and yet it was not the finishing point for his work, because in the moments after Carlos Baleba made it 3-2, Palmer got his fourth. 

It was around then that a statistic circulated – since Palmer made his debut for Chelsea in 2023 he has scored or contributed to 43 goals, which is more impressive when set against Erling Haaland’s respective number of 39.

Given Palmer’s versatility, and the fact he is a Swiss army knife to Haaland’s sledgehammer, it remains possible that for all of the hype we might still be guilty of understating just how special he is. 

Had his passing been met by better finishing from Nicolas Jackson and others after the break, Chelsea would have won by five or six.

None of which will be lost on Hurzeler, who had toyed with the idea of a low-block here after riding a little luck with their high line to date. That he decided against it will be nightmare fuel for him and the hopelessly outpaced pairing of Lewis Dunk and Adam Webster.

They were simply ripped to shreds by the speed of Palmer, Jackson and Noni Madueke and the associated combination of through-balls from Enzo Fernandez and the runs of Jadon Sancho, whose rehabilitation story is gaining nice momentum.

We might add that Chelsea were helped once more by compliant opposition, as they were at West Ham last week. Likewise Enzo Maresca might harbour concerns about a few of his own side’s backline deficiencies, not least those of his goalkeeper Robert Sanchez. But this third straight league win, and a first at home, points to a team that is outrunning the turbulence of its boardroom.

Georginio Rutter had given Fabian Hurzeler’s side an early lead at Stamford Bridge

But Palmer was on hand to sweep past Bart Verbruggen and put the hosts back on level terms

The 22-year-old added a second goal from the penalty spot to give the Blues the lead

From his position on a cresting wave, Maresca was predictably happy, especially with the 22-year-old gem in his attack. He said: ‘Cole is a special player. He doesn’t need me to tell people how good he is.

‘I know Cole from many years ago at Manchester City – he was exactly that way three or four years ago; goals and assists. 

‘The important thing, today in football, young players change very quick. But Cole has not changed.’

All of that being said, this game started horribly for Maresca.

The concession of the opening goal was a mess of Chelsea’s own making, factoring in some questionable decisions from Moises Caicedo and Levi Colwill in clearing a cross from Pervis Estupinan before Sanchez topped the lot with a mindless sprint from his line to a high ball he’d never reach. 

Rutter headed back the other way to an unguarded net for 1-0.

Given the three culprits all played for Brighton once, a corner of the ground quite enjoyed that.

But how it all turned. Palmer hit a post and had a goal correctly disallowed for a tight offside, with Brighton suddenly and startlingly losing all grip on the game, before their panic was encapsulated by a pitifully under-hit Webster back-pass. 

That was cut out by Nicolas Jackson who squared to Palmer for 1-1.

Sancho had a goal disallowed a moment later before Baleba conceded his second penalty in a fortnight by fouling Sancho. 

Palmer buried from the spot and then did the same with a sublime free-kick from 25 yards – his hat-trick had come from just 10 touches.

He then completed his hat-trick by scoring a sublime free kick from the edge of the box

Carlos Baleba pulled one back for Brighton to give them a hope of getting back into the game

But a clinical Palmer added a fourth before half-time to ensure all three points for the Blues

Brighton revived themselves long enough to score through Baleba – for the second time Sanchez was at fault with a dopey ball easily intercepted on the edge of his own area – and then entered a brief period of dominance and chances. 

Alas, Chelsea soon had a fourth, finished by Palmer after Sancho’s assist.

Chelsea returned after the break with two near misses for Jackson and other opportunities for Palmer and Malo Gusto, before Marc Cucurella had one disallowed for offside. To be fair, the game hardly needed any extra drama by then.