A bride has sparked a debate after she refused to make an exception to her “child-free” wedding.
In a recent post shared to the popular “Am I The A**hole?” Reddit forum, the bride-to-be explained why she and her fiancé didn’t want to have any children at their wedding, which they made clear in the invitations.
“We want our big day to be a more formal, adult affair without the interruptions that can come with having kids around,” she wrote. She noted that while most of her guests were fine with the wedding being child-free, one of her close friends, who recently had a baby, had an issue with it.
According to the future bride, her friend said she couldn’t attend the wedding without the baby, since the new parent is still breastfeeding and she “doesn’t have anyone she trusts” to take care of her child. Although the Reddit user once again said she was sticking with the no-kids policy, her friend wasn’t happy.
“She got really upset and said that I’m being unreasonable and putting her in a difficult position, especially since she’s made so much effort to support me throughout my relationship and wedding planning,” the post continued.
However, she claimed that their mutual friends are siding with the new mother, saying the bride should make an “exception” for her since it’s “a unique situation.”
She explained that she doesn’t necessarily want to do this, since she feels that if she makes an exception for her friend, she might have to do the same for other guests. As a result, she’s concerned there will be “a chaotic situation” on the wedding day.
The post has quickly gone viral, with more than 2,000 upvotes. There were some mixed reactions in the comments, with readers defending the wedding guest and her reason why she can’t leave her baby.
“I think most people can comprehend that a very young breastfeeding infant can’t be away from its mom and that nursing will soothe it immediately,” one wrote. “Can’t you have a friend seated on the aisle in the way back under strict instructions to leave instantly if the baby makes a peep?”
“Babies commonly can’t be left with anyone else, and it’s not like they take up a seat or require a plated dinner. I promise your guests can understand the difference between a breastfeeding baby and their three-year-old,” another responded. “I don’t think anyone will be up in arms about this ‘exception’ and if they are you would have solid reasoning behind it. And your other option is to exclude a friend who has already expressed that she’s going to be hurt by it.”
“Nursing babies? OK. Baby old enough to grab at cake? NOT OK. Your friend’s baby is pretty much a newborn, I think an exception could be made. It’s not like the kid would be toddling about,” a third wrote.
Others acknowledged that she doesn’t have to let the friend break the child-free rule, since it’s her big day. However, they still understood why the guest didn’t want to leave her baby alone.
“It’s your wedding, and you get to set the vibe and the rules! A child-free wedding is totally understandable, especially if you want to keep things more formal and relaxed. That being said, your friend’s situation is tricky since she’s breastfeeding and doesn’t have many options. It’s tough, but you’re not being unreasonable for sticking to your plan,” one wrote.
“You don’t want children at your wedding which is more than fine and your friend doesn’t want to leave her (dependent on her for food) new baby, she may not have anyone to leave the baby with, she may not WANT to leave her baby even if she had someone to leave it with,” another responded. “Ultimately your decision and you have to be OK with the fact that she likely won’t attend due to your wishes.”
