Yes, Yahoo still offers free email addresses — and apparently Bill Murray can be found at his, “[email protected].” Murray appeared in a quick 15 second spot for Yahoo on Sunday — apparently which might be considered the company’s first Super Bowl ad in more than two decades — except that it wasn’t a national ad, but rather one that ran in local markets throughout the evening.
In the spot, Murray looks into a mirror — and sees a dog. “Have you ever looked in the mirror and not seen yourself?” he says. “I don’t think I need professional help, but a skilled amateur, maybe? Little help?” He then holds up that email address.
Here’s what you get when you “email” Murray:
“Thanks for emailing.
“Sure you’re thinking, what’s this Murray doing in the middle of the game? Is he broke now? The usual gambling problems? Ugly divorce? Understandable reaction but this is not purely a big money sell out. There’s also a dog in my mirror! A real dog where my face should be and always has been.
“So kindly absorb that horror, just walk 1 mile in my paws.
“Woke up earlier, slept well then sat quietly did some stretching, used the rumble roller and thought, “OK another great day to scrub my teeth.” And, hello! Right in the mirror not the face I know so well, but a mutt. I really don’t care that he’s not a pedigree, but…he is a dog. What did the man say, a dog has taken my place, my face place.
“This dog right here.
“And the weird thing, more weird thing, he looks kind of familiar, which is no comfort at all. People ask, are you a cat person or a dog person? Dog person. And, now, literally a dog person. The fear hits but I remember my neighbor, Dr. Gerry, a legendary veterinarian totally qualified to respond to any canine emergency.
“Where would you imagine a vet named Dr. Gerry, wearing a “Don’t Lick Me I’m Allergic” button pinned to his scrubs, would send me? Just take a guess and you’ll learn that the Darkest Hour is just before the dawn…
“Seriously, email me back with your best guess. Then I’ll tell you the rest.
“What else? Oh yeah, no animals were hurt while writing this.
“Damn, a man in a jam — Bill”
Email again, and get this:
“The business card read, Platinum Pet Premonitions. That’s correct. A pet psychic. Don’t judge me. Her website seemed legit, you know, for a pet psychic and appropriate to my desperation level.
“I’m imagining mysterious yard bags hidden under the front porch. I pull up to the house and she’s already waiting, which scares me because I didn’t call ahead. She immediately asks “Is your dog living or dead?” What would you have said??
“Sorry for the interference on this video. Maybe caused by paranormal activity? I should ask Danny.
“What now? Email some advice, a poem, a recipe. Whatever you got. I’ll reply and let you know how it goes.
“More or less to come. Bill”
And then one more email:
“So I turn to family, they already seem beneath the rock named Bill. Brother Brian arrives on a moment’s notice. Or should I say, comes when called? With him as my mirror, he looked back at me and saw what was missing. What I had been missing and couldn’t see.
“Yes, as a little kid, we had a dog named Peppy, a Border Collie, who was a sister of the Salacki’s dog, Shep. She had one blue eye one brown eye and loved to chase cars.
“Peppy was certainly peppy. She had a lot of energy, a lot of energy. She could play all day, with all nine of us and still have time to work her herding skills on Fords and Chevys. I’m betting our cozy home was already urchin overrun and our parents were afraid that Peppy might one day teach Nancy or Johnny how to chase cars. So, one day, Peppy was gone. Gone. Now Brian tells me Peppy ended up happy on a friend of my dad‘s farm somewhere in Wisconsin.
“We were told that she ran away or got sick and had to be put down, hit by a car, or something. Whatever story was told is long-lost to memory. They could have told us the truth. Oh, we would have cried, loud, loud and taking turns, enough to wake up the Wexlers behind us who heard everything.
“I never got to say goodbye to Peppy. Until today. What the heck, Super Bowl Sunday. It was Peppy I was seeing in the mirror. After all these years, she came back to say goodbye to me…and to let me say goodbye to her. Maybe she liked me the best of all the kids.
“I suppose we should never be horrified by what we see in the mirror. Or maybe we should never wish to be content with what we see in the mirror.
“Take care, Bill”
