Are YOU tired of life? You could be one of the thousands suffering a new mental health syndrome that’s baffling doctors. But the good news is there are solutions that don’t involve medication…

Jane is 86 and describes herself as ‘reasonably healthy’. But having outlived her husband and most of her friends, it has dawned on her that life has become, for want of a better term, no fun any more. And she wouldn’t mind if it ended soon.

‘I know I should not feel this, as I am lucky to have a nice daughter who I see frequently, but I just feel lonely,’ she admits. ‘I feel that all I am doing is eating, sleeping and dashing to the toilet so that I don’t wet myself.’

She doesn’t describe herself as depressed, anxious or suicidal, yet she adds starkly: ‘I have always been for euthanasia, as I don’t see the point of living unless you are enjoying life and having fun.’

Does she feel that she – and others like her who just seem to be tired of life – should be candidates for assisted dying if it becomes legal in the UK? ‘My simple answer is, yes,’ she says.

It may seem like a shocking admission, yet Jane is far from alone.

In November The Mail on Sunday’s resident GP Dr Ellie Cannon wrote of her concern about a significant number of her patients who were not terminally ill or mentally unwell but no longer wanted to go on. They were, like Jane, simply tired of life. And Dr Ellie felt, amid the ongoing debate over legalising assisted dying, that their stories needed to be considered.

In response we received hundreds of emails and letters from readers who have all said strikingly similar things about having come to the end of their tether. And if assisted dying became available tomorrow, they’d consider it.

Should their sad wish be granted? There’s no simple answer, say experts who have studied this phenomenon. Indeed, a growing body of psychiatrists and old-age specialists believe that people may be suffering from a distinct mental health condition – tired of life syndrome.

And with the right support and intervention, it is possible for them to find renewed purpose.

Psychologist Dr Sam Carr, an expert in the subject based at the University of Bath, says: ‘This is not the same as a younger person having depression. Older people we see often have a sense of life being finished – it’s almost like you have completed the marathon and there is no more to experience.

‘These are often people who say they have lived fulfilling lives. The condition is not, as some might imagine, always accompanied by a flurry of distress, anxiety or panic.’

A Dutch research paper recently reported on the ‘experiences of elderly people who feel life is completed and no longer worth living’. Alongside frustration at the physical problems and other losses of older age – end of career, children growing up and becoming independent – key issues included social isolation, a lack of purpose and fear of being reduced to a dependent state.

Dr Carr adds: ‘Medical advancements mean we are living for longer. Yet we have also created a society where older people are isolated – and perhaps that’s why we are seeing this.’

In November the Assisted Dying Bill passed its first stage in the House of Commons. At the time, Dr Carr and his colleagues published an article that warned we needed to better understand the ‘tired of life’ syndrome before the Bill becomes law.

The legislation, if passed, would allow assisted dying only in extremely limited circumstances. People would need to be terminally ill with a prognosis of six months to live, while the agreement of two doctors and a court order would also be needed before a person was legally allowed help to end their life.

But critics argue that older people who feel as though they are a burden – or simply that life itself is a burden – may feel pressure to end their lives, should it become legal.

In the Netherlands, assisted dying has long been legal to those in ‘unbearable suffering’ – and this had gradually been expanded to include those with mental health conditions. Research suggests that 3 per cent of voluntary euthanasia cases there are related to people being tired of life.

And in Belgium, about 20 per cent of 3,423 assisted deaths between January 2022 and December 2023 did not involve people with a terminal condition.

Certainly, not wanting to become a burden was something that many MoS readers had considered. But they did not always see this as a negative. Simon, who did not give his age, writes: ‘What I don’t want, looking into the future, is to go on living when I can no longer do things for myself.

‘The constant talk about people like me not wanting to be a burden is utter drivel. It’s not a question of not wanting to be a burden to loved ones or to health or care providers, I simply have no desire to be a burden to myself.

‘If and when I get to that point, I want to be assisted to die, without having to wait for doctors or

lawyers to confirm whether or not I am of sound enough mind to make such a decision.’

Another who shared his story was 81-year-old John. After three battles with cancer over the past decade, he is finally in remission.

‘At points you think, blimey, I am very grateful for living,’ says the grandfather, a former engineer, from the West Midlands. ‘But at times, when you can’t do a great deal, you do think, if I passed away tomorrow, you would be grateful.

‘I used to be a very active man but now feel useless and becoming a burden, not only to myself but to others. I’m sure there are many others feeling like me.’

Meanwhile, Iris, 81, says she is living in ‘an exceptional care home’ but admits ‘I am fed up [because] I am not able to get out without help from members of staff.

‘My friends have died and young people don’t have the same experiences I have had, and cannot talk with me about them.

‘I am grateful for my family but I have nothing to look forward to, and I know this is not going to change.’

So what are the solutions? ‘This isn’t depression, so antidepressants are unlikely to help,’ says Dr Carr, who doesn’t see an easy fix to the situation.

‘This is potentially just a naturally occurring phenomenon – we can’t expect people to live with vitality to the end.’

However, repeatedly, MoS readers said a big turning point came when they retired.

One of them is Jilly, 76, from the Channel Islands, who is divorced and has been single for more than 11 years. Having enjoyed her job as an office manager where she ‘felt valued and confident’, Jilly retired three years ago.

She barely sees one of her grown-up sons, and never sees the other. She admits: ‘I am disappointed that I wake up each morning. I will soon have money problems, having lived off savings, and that, probably wrongly, embarrasses me. I am so, so tired of living and have contemplated ending it often.’

Dr Rob Howard, a specialist in old age psychiatry at University College London, says these sentiments are common.

‘For many of us, our identity and a meaning to life is tied up in looking after family and work. Without those roles, we can lose a great deal of self worth and confidence,’ he says.

‘We see increasing numbers of people going back into or staying in work long after retirement age, so they can keep a sense of normality.’

In the UK, almost one in ten people aged 66 and older were still working last year – a number that has been steadily rising over the past decade.

Although it needn’t mean working till you drop, Dr Howard believes finding a sense of purpose is key to avoiding feeling tired of life.

People need to find ways to grow, even in old age, and rediscover meaning through new experiences, he says.

‘This could be through volunteering, taking up a new hobby or finding a new role in the family. People shouldn’t accept being miserable as part of being old.’

He also believes there needs to be a greater focus on the mental health of older people from their doctors.

He says: ‘There’s a myth that older people are resistant to talking about their mental health, but it’s the opposite in our experience, and psychotherapy can be very helpful.’

Susan Pickard, director of the Centre for Ageing and the Life Course at the University of Liverpool, offers another counterpoint – arguing that the positive aspects of ageing are often overlooked.

She cites Diana Athill, a former literary editor who, after ‘a life of moderate success… shot into the sky’ in her 90s, with the publications of her memoirs.

While acknowledging loss, Athill found positives. She began drawing classes in her 70s and observed: ‘I am now much better at seeing things than I used to be…’

She also found there was a sense of liberation at ‘no longer being a sexual being’ – despite it having been something that was once important to her – and she started enjoying platonic friendships with men.

According to Dr Carr, Athill’s attitude makes her something of ‘an outlier’ – and the majority of those he’s interviewed see ‘deep old age’ in a far less positive light. However, Prof June Andrews, an elder care expert at University of Stirling, couldn’t disagree more.

‘Why is it that if a 19-year- old says they’re tired of life, we worry, but if a 90-year-old says it, we say fair enough?

‘It’s a sign we don’t value older people as much as we should,’ she says.

‘The truth is, there are plenty of older people having a terrific time. There’s an amount of luck – they’re blessed with mobility and being cognitively sound. But not drinking too much, eating well, not smoking, exercising as much as you can, and taking your blood pressure tablets or diabetes medicine if you need it, feeds into that.

‘The other thing is to find ways to be of service, whether that’s volunteering at a church or local park, or canvassing and leafleting for your political party. I went back to college to do a law degree in my 60s, which people ooh and ahh at, but things like that shouldn’t be remarkable.’

She adds: ‘People who have a good older age stay connected to other people, whether it’s family or the community. The people who don’t make themselves do all these things are the ones who become lonely.

‘It can be hard, especially if you’re poorly, but the majority of people have the capacity to do amazing things well into later life.’

Some names have been changed.