Single mother of teenagers, 43, says she is ‘disgusted’ with herself because she ‘accidentally’ slept with a 19-year-old

A 43-year-old woman has revealed she ‘accidentally’ slept with a 19-year-old man and is ‘disgusted’.

The single mother of two teenagers admitted she thought the man she was hopping into bed with was in his twenties – and added that one night stands are ‘very out of character’ for her.

Taking to British parenting forum Mumsnet, she said that her friend told her she was ‘overthinking’ the situation but she worried what others in her village might think if the word got around. 

Many rushed to the comments to leave their own thoughts with some saying she shouldn’t stress about it, while others claimed it was ‘gross’.     

The post read: ‘I have done something so bad, and I am really beating myself up over it. 

‘I’m 43, divorced and a single mum of two teenagers. 

‘Last year we moved into a new village and I have made a real effort to get to know people and make new friends. 

‘I am really into fitness and have joined a circuit training group. This is also become part of my social life.

She explained that after a night out with her gym friends she invited a few people back to her house for an after party while her children were staying with their father. 

She added: ‘The guy who runs the circuit training had a couple of friends with him. He is in his early 20s and I assumed that they were around the same age.

‘To cut a very long story short after a few more drinks and a lot of flirting with one of the guys who was there with the circuit trying to leader, I ended up sleeping with one of them.

‘This is very very out of character behaviour for me. I’m 43 and I haven’t had a one night stand since I was 20.’

However the next morning the guy admitted he was only 19-years-old which made her feel uneasy.

She concluded: ‘I feel really disgusted with myself and can’t stop thinking about what a massive mistake I have made it’s certainly won’t be happening again.

‘I get on well with the circuit training leader and spoke to him about it last night and he told me that I was overthinking it and that I was just having some fun.

‘I keep thinking that people would take a very dim view of what I have done if I was a man sleeping with a 19-year-old woman Am I overthinking this?’  

Many rushed to the comments to reassure the woman that she didn’t do anything wrong as the teenager was over the age of consent.

Taking to the British parenting platform, the single mother-of-two teengers admitted to hopping into bed with a man who she thought was in his 20’s

Many rushed to the comments to leave their own thoughts with some saying she shouldn’t stress about it

One person said: ‘He’s over the age of consent. As long as neither of you were so drunk you couldn’t give consent, then I don’t see an issue. In fact I think good on you!’

Another added: ‘He is over the age of consent and now has a story to tell. You didn’t go out intending to sleep with him and didn’t ‘target’ or groom him it’s fine. Not sure Id mention it to anyone in RL though.

‘My only concern is if your children are older teens and run in similar circles but if not don’t worry, chalk it up to experience and flirt with the over 30s from now on. (And hope you aren’t pregnant – that would be quite a can of worms to open).’

Someone else said: ‘He’s over the legal age, he’s an adult. I know what you mean about it being weird because I’d feel a bit blergh too, but what can you do now?

‘Don’t let it occupy your mind any further. You’ve done nothing wrong x’

A fourth agreed: ‘You are overthinking. It’s not like you are planning to set up a family unit with him. It was a consensual one night stand between two adults.’

Meanwhile others labelled it ‘sleazy’ and claimed if it was a 43-year-old man and a 19-year-old girl people would be much more angry. 

One person said: ‘If you were a 40 odd year old man sleeping with a 19 year old you would be called a sleaze and rightly so.

Meanwhile others labelled it ‘sleazy’ and claimed if it was a 43-year-old man and a 19-year-old girl people would be much more angry

‘It’s not illegal but it is sleazy and people saying don’t beat yourself up are typical mumsnet hypocrites.

‘How would you feel about your son sleeping with a woman old enough to be his mother?

‘It’s done now, but being the parent of a 22 year old I fail to believe that you didn’t know how young he was, especially given you have teenagers of your own. I mean even early 20’s is grim, and again, if you were a man MN would still take a dim view.

‘It’s done now but learn from it. And hope he doesn’t go bragging to his mates.’

Another said: ‘Ah, the “I thought they were older” excuse. It will be fine in here because you’re a woman, but men are creeps if they do it. It’s ‘taking advantage’.

Someone else else said: ‘I don’t agree with all of the people saying that it’s OK because he is over the age of consent. 

‘I have a 19yo girl and would be horrified at the thought of her being with a 43yo man. I don’t think it’s any different just because the younger person is male and you’re female. I’m hoping that your own kids are too young to ever get wind of this.

‘Anyway, what’s done is done now and you can’t change the past. I don’t think it was right but all you can do now is move on and not do anything like that again.’

A fourth said: ‘Why was it ok early 20s ..it’s still a bit weird. If it was a man I would say typical dirty old man .

‘Why not meet people a bit older. Then you don’t have to have the shame the next day.’