Health and Wellness

Therapists reveal what the election is doing to couples’ sex lives

This presidential election has one of the largest gender divides in history.

A DailyMail.com poll showed 54 percent of women were backing Kamala Harris, while 59 percent of men were backing Donald Trump.

And therapists say the divide is extending beyond the ballot box to the bedroom – with couples arguing more, having sex less and even divorcing.

DailyMail.com spoke to four couple’s therapists and psychologists, who all say they are handling a growing number of couples coming to blows over the election. 

California-based clinical psychologist Dr Molly Burrets said one couple that had been together for six years and had two children divorced over their political differences.

She said: These major cultural events really have an impact on couples who are struggling.

‘One of the cases I had was a couple that I was working with, they were a fairly young couple in their 30s, they had been married six years, had two small children, they thought they were quite aligned in their values.

‘[Before that] they had been dating for two years [and were] engaged for a year before marriage, and so they really thought they had a good idea of who the other was.

‘And then, the election came about, and it became clear that they were divided politically. The wife was a strong Democrat, and the husband was a Republican.’ 

J.L. Partners polled 1000 likely voters. The results showed a stark gender gap

Kamala Harris has the support of a majority of women. But is it enough to win?

Kamala Harris has the support of a majority of women. But is it enough to win?

She continued: ‘They came to couple’s therapy to try to resolve it, and, in the end, after 12 sessions together, they actually decided that their values were so not aligned that they ended their marriage.’

Many therapists are reporting a surge in couple’s seeking counseling over the election cycle. One even said he was seeing 25 percent more patients now than the last two times Trump was on the presidential ballot.

In many cases, these couples are already navigating other issues — but the election has aggravated the situation. 

Dr Gary McClain, a psychotherapist in New York, also revealed he was being visited by couples who were coming to blows over the election.

He said: ‘[One couple I worked with] was in their early 40s, both professionals, kids in their teens, married 14 years. In New York. He is a Republican, she is a Democrat.

‘They come to me to work on better communication. Their political differences have led to some big arguments, to the point of yelling, even when their teens are present.

‘One of the repercussions was the couple unintentionally enlisted their children to take political positions… the result was that the two children felt like they had to take sides with one parent against the other.

‘The other was avoidance of each other’s family. They would often stay away from each other’s family events because they didn’t want to hear the politics and, at times, felt ganged up on and attacked for their beliefs.’

Data shows women are generally more likely to vote Democrat than their male peers, who more so lean Republican.

In the 2016 election, 54 percent of women voted Democratic, compared to 41 percent of men who did. 

Some pundits have already warned this divide could be an issue for Donald Trump — given that 53 percent of the US electorate is female.

And experts say women are more likely to vote for Vice President Kamala Harris in part because she has been outspoken about her support of abortion access and has suggested her opponent is a threat to democracy — an issue which lands more strongly with women.

On the other hand, some say men are more likely to back former president Donald Trump because of a history of males identifying with machismo leaders. 

In the 1980s, men were more likely to back Ronald Reagan than women — which was linked to his image as a former Hollywood cowboy star and strong anti-communist rhetoric. 

In the 1932 election, men were also more likely to back Franklin Roosevelt, which was thought to be due to his rugged and self-made man image.

Women are also generally more likely to say that democracy is at risk in the election compared to men, with 72 percent of Democrats — who are more likely to be women — voicing this concern.

Sixty-five percent of women say they believe this election will have a major impact on abortion access and reproductive health care, according to a KFF poll, while it has become the most important issue for women under 30 years old.

For comparison, among men only around 20 percent consider abortion to be a top issue, according to pollsters.

Dr Frankie Bashan, a sex therapist and clinical psychologist in California, said couples were withholding affection from each other over political differences.

‘In some cases, couples are avoiding each other or even resorting to stonewalling to manage the intense emotions,’ she said.

‘This can even impact intimacy, with partners withholding affection including sex or ignoring one another to drive home their point for hours, sometimes days.’

There is now a trend on TikTok of people posting about voting in a way to count out their spouse's decision

There is now a trend on TikTok of people posting about voting in a way to count out their spouse's decision

There is now a trend on TikTok of people posting about voting in a way to count out their spouse’s decision

Dr Kiran Dintyala, an internal medicine physician and stress management expert in San Diego, also revealed a case he had where the traditional gender divide was reversed — where the wife voted Republican but the husband voted Democrat.

He said: ‘The couple would tell me that whenever they turn on the TV, they start fighting. They would try to avoid those discussions, but these things kept coming at them, something sparked the conversation, you know.

‘They told me that before Trump came into politics, they never really fought much. It was once in a while, but they never used to argue like now, like cats and dogs.’

Dr Dintyala attempted to defuse the couple by explaining to them that each has a separate perspective based on their life experience.

He said that one was brought up a Republican and lived in Texas — a red state – affecting their world view, while the other has spent all his life in California — a blue state.

TikTokers are also sharing the division online, with some sharing videos that have wracked up millions of views saying they know couples that are divorcing over the election.

Commenting on the clips, one woman said: ‘She doesn’t want to be married to a man who doesn’t respect her right to make her own decisions about her body and life #notshocked.’

The US goes to the polls on Tuesday November 5, with the results expected to be announced in the days afterward

The US goes to the polls on Tuesday November 5, with the results expected to be announced in the days afterward

A man commenting on a separate video said, ‘he’s better without her’, while a woman commenting on the same clip said: ‘Smart women! See’s the problem and gets out fast!’

For couples who want to keep their separate opinions but still live in harmony, Dr Dintyala said there are key things to keep in mind when you disagree with your partner.

First, he said it was important to realize that everyone has their own reality and perspective based on their life experience — and this should be respected.

He said: ‘Like, let’s say that your wife likes blue, and you like red, are you going to fight her on that? No, that is fine.

‘But when it comes to politics, these kinds of issues become much more emotionally charged.’

He also called on people to maintain perspective and realize that what happens in their own home is far more important than what happens in the White House.

‘Neither Trump nor Biden nor Obama is going to solve the problems in your home, so you shouldn’t fight and disagree,’ he said.

He also urged people to try to avoid consuming too much media if it was leading to conflict in the home, saying they should consume no more than two hours a day.

‘The moment you turn on 24-hour TV, radio, social media, you are bombarded with so much information, often negative, that this makes people stressed,’ he said.

‘So what I say is you should choose your sources, whichever that you believe will keep a balanced view, I always recommend more than one source actually, and one that is Democrat leaning and another that is Republican leaning.

Dr Dintyala also suggested people try meditation and relaxation techniques, like listening to calming music and doing breathing exercises, during the political cycle to help them keen an even-mind.

  • For more: Elrisala website and for social networking, you can follow us on Facebook
  • Source of information and images “dailymail

Related Articles

Leave a Reply

Back to top button

Discover more from Elrisala

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading