If you ever hear someone say, ‘I don’t want to hurt you’, chances are they are going to end up breaking your heart.
Louanne Ward, a qualified matchmaker and coach from Perth, Western Australia, explained how the six words mean it’s a ‘warning, not reassurance’.
‘When somebody says, “I don’t want to hurt you”, what they’re really saying is they believe you have more feelings for them than what they have for you,’ she said.
‘It means they’re not fully invested, they know you care more than they do and they’re laying the groundwork to excuse their future bad behaviour.
‘It’s not about sparing your feelings – it’s about sparing their guilt. If someone warns you, listen carefully and protect your heart.’
She said if someone was serious about the relationship, there would be no need to hurt you because they would see you in their future.
‘The simple fact is, if somebody doesn’t see you as a potential long-term partner and doesn’t have strong enough feelings for you, they can see that they can potentially hurt you,’ Louanne said.
The relationship expert explained how they could see themselves as being a ‘nice, caring and kind person’ for giving you a heads up.
If you ever hear someone say, ‘I don’t want to hurt you’, chances are they are going to end up breaking your heart, according to matchmaker and relationship coach Louanne Ward
‘They don’t have to feel guilty about it because they warned you,’ she said.
‘If you hear that line, ‘I don’t want to hurt you’, it’s time to re-evaluate and reassess because this person is going to end up hurting you if you stay where you are.’
Last month, Louanne shared the three-second rule that makes you ‘instantly more attractive’, explaining how many are ‘killing their own attraction powers without even realising it’.
‘They’re rushing conversation to fill silence and thinking more about what they want to say next rather than listening,’ she said.
‘There’s also lots of fast movements and fidgeting. These simple things added up are attraction blockers.’
She said her three-second ‘pause and hold technique’ will ensure those you meet see you as more attractive, charismatic and memorable than they would have otherwise.
It works like this:
1. When you enter a room, meet someone new, or start speaking, pause for three seconds.
She explained how the six words mean it’s a ‘warning, not reassurance’ (stock image)
2. Hold eye contact before looking away.
3. Pause before responding to a question.
4. Let a moment breathe instead of rushing to fill it.
This science-backed method works in multiple ways. The first being that pausing shows confidence.
‘People who rush seem nervous. A slight pause signals certainty,’ Louanne said.
Holding eye contact also builds connection – just two to three seconds can ensure someone feels an instant pull toward you.
‘It makes people lean in,’ Louanne continued.
‘When you don’t rush, your words carry more weight.’
Louanne, who has had more than two decades of experience in the industry, said most people don’t use this method because ‘silence feels uncomfortable’.
‘But the moment you learn to own it, you change the way people see you forever. And this is just one small piece of what makes attraction effortless,’ she said.
