How Arsenal got revenge on Erling Haaland: Nine touches, Kendrick Lamar and a humbling from England’s next left back

You feared Gabriel Magalhaes had gone too early in goading Erling Haaland.

Less than two minutes it took for the Arsenal defender, with a contorted expression overcome by the ecstasy of his side taking an early lead through Martin Odegaard, to reignite his feud with the Manchester City striker by celebrating in Haaland’s face.

These two have history, of course. They aren’t on each other’s Christmas card lists, put it that way.

Perhaps, Gabriel knew what lay ahead. Haaland touched the ball just six times in the opening 45 minutes, completing just one successful pass.

You only need one touch to score a goal, of course. Indeed, the Norwegian threatened to ram the Brazilian’s antics back down his throat early in the second half as he nodded a header beyond David Raya to level.

The self-inflicted pain suffered by City’s shambolic defence during the remainder of the second half ensured that Arsenal – and Gabriel – left the Emirates with the last laugh.

‘Stay humble,’ Haaland infamously uttered to Mikel Arteta following the full-time whistle during the league clash between these two sides at the Etihad Stadium earlier this season after John Stones fired home an equaliser deep into stoppage time to level for City, after which he threw the ball into Gabriel’s head.

It is Haaland who has to stomach a large slice of humble pie after this.

The sight here of his arch-nemesis, the clench-fisted Gabriel, pumping up the crowd almost as if to rub this heavy defeat in Haaland’s face won’t have helped Haaland’s mood.

The tannoy operator’s choice of full-time music – Kendrick Lamar’s track Humble – won’t have been lost on Haaland, either.

Nor would the sight of the brilliant Myles Lewis-Skelly imitating Haaland’s trademark meditation celebration after hammering home Arsenal’s third.

‘I didn’t see…he did that? That’s good,’ responded City boss Pep Guardiola when asked about Lewis Skelly’s choice of celebration.

Such antics aside, what a player Lewis-Skelly is becoming. Nothing fazes this supreme talent carved at Arsenal’s famed Hale End finishing school.

Twice the 18-year-old was confronted with Haaland’s imposing physical stature. Both times Lewis-Skelly passed the test with flying colours.

A certain England international in the making. Thomas Tuchel has a problem at left back, too, and Lewis-Skelly, despite his age, looks every inch the answer to the England head coach’s dilemma.

He had his own reason to humble Haaland, having been asked ‘who the f*** are you’ by the Norwegian in the fracas following September’s draw at the Etihad.

The teenager was substituted in the closing stages of this encounter to a rapturous ovation from the natives. In contrast, Haaland endured the ignominy of completing the entirety of this miserable afternoon.

The 24-year-old’s importance to City’s present and future is unquestionable. The numbers speak for themselves. He is still City’s main man.

But, as ridiculous as it may sound, it’s hard to shake those ‘what does he do if he isn’t scoring goals’ assertions.

By the time Peter Bankes blew for the final whistle, Haaland had added just three more touches to his first-half tally to take his total count to nine.

Since Opta’s stats began in 2003, only one outfield player who has completed 90 minutes in a Premier League game has had fewer touches – Romelu Lukaku had seven when playing for Chelsea against Crystal Palace in 2022.

Of course, one of Haaland’s three second-half touches was City’s equaliser. That sort of ratio isn’t to be sniffed at. But with his team capitulating again, Haaland was able to attempt only five passes. And only two were successful.

It’s clear City are a team stuttering through a transition; Arsenal’s ruthless dismantling of Guardiola’s side here further evidence of their startling fall from grace.

But having recently signed a nine-and-half year contract, Haaland will remain a constant throughout the evolution.

Since his arrival from Borussia Dortmund in 2022, this team has been geared towards supplying the ammunition for Haaland to fire them to glory, and he kept to his side of the bargain but they need to devise a plan to replicate that success.

No-one is writing Haaland off. If you are, you’re foolish. But, with that said, this City regeneration must find a way to feed their goalscoring beast.

At the final whistle, there appeared a purpose to Haaland’s body language. He clearly tried to encourage the team-mates that crossed his path almost as if to say: ‘we go again.’

He immediately approached the away contingent, those that stayed till the end, to applaud their support. He wasn’t sulking, he wasn’t forlorn.

City will need that sort of leadership if they are to find a way out of their funk. But more pertinently they’ll need performances. They’ll need his goals.

Predictably, there was no conciliatory embrace between Gabriel and Haaland after the final whistle. The Arsenal defender was too busy revving up the crowd after this destruction of a side that has stood in the way of his team’s glory.

In the end it was left to Haaland’s father Alfie to take a swing back. In response to a post on X from Arsenal’s official account that carried a photo of the team celebrating Lewis-Skelly’s goal with the message ‘This team’, Haaland Snr poked fun at the Gunners by writing: ‘This team that wins everything. Ehhhh, not.’

Actions speak louder than words and Arsenal spoke loudest here.

It’s now up to Guardiola to assemble a team capable of providing Haaland Jnr with the platform to make his own riposte next season.